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Max Online: 3648 @ 01/07/26 06:32 AM
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#361769 - 10/05/08 03:55 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Pervert
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
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Quote:
Isn't Dick Nasty already shooting dust by now at his age? I don't know why he and Dave Cummings haven't come up with a grandpa gangbang gimmick -- "Gram Slam" -- for a new line by now, featuring DP's where Dick could hit the ass and Dave Cummings could take the bottom where he could lay without having to move around much - kind of like John McCain does with _his_ wife while trying to suppress memories of the tigerbox.
In all seriousness Dick must be a likable guy to still be getting bookings.
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#361770 - 10/05/08 04:54 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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further evidence that eliot spitzer has indeed hit rock bottom:
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#361771 - 10/05/08 04:56 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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^^^ BWAHAHAHA!!! 
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#361774 - 10/06/08 02:16 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 458
Loc: the ATL
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#361776 - 10/06/08 05:39 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
She's a good actress, too!
Yeah you're right about that, she acted like she was into you. Oscar material I say.
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#361778 - 10/06/08 10:08 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Brandon: Quote:
I was the shooter, meaning I shot camera. Sorta like the way you shoot your mouth off. The difference is that I think before I shoot. You....not so much.
Having another outbreak, huh?
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#361782 - 10/07/08 06:15 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
I was the shooter, meaning I shot camera. Sorta like the way you shoot your mouth off. The difference is that I think before I shoot. You....not so much.
Like you didn't even take pictures of your own dick. Yeah right. We know you can't resist. Now don't get mad because you've had to pay for every piece of ass you've ever fucked.
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#361783 - 10/07/08 11:56 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Pervert
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
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Quote:
Quote:
I was the shooter, meaning I shot camera. Sorta like the way you shoot your mouth off. The difference is that I think before I shoot. You....not so much.
<snip> Now don't get mad because you've had to pay for every piece of ass you've ever fucked.
I wouldn't assume that's a bad thing were it true, given he's had the privelege of his power-squid being dirtied by the drainpipes of girls like canadian-born Pamela French (pictured). Such experiences transcend the few green pieces of paper placed into the PW's little hands afterward: they are priceless.
Anyone with a contract-whore (aka "wife") pays for equivalent privilege tenfold, and even then you're "eating the same dinner every night." Girlfriends, same deal (inevitably want help with rent/car/utilities) except if you send a G/F packing, at least the state government doesn't intervene to award her "exciting parting gifts of cash and prizes" like an episode of The Price Is Right. Yet somehow these scenarios are considered more dignified forms of payment. In any case, no free lunch.
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#361785 - 10/07/08 07:40 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Pervert
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
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Quote:
"I am as much a money manager as a pornographer. I get paid to receive fellatio from a variety of women."
Money Manager (noun) 1. He to whom women are magnetically drawn, like goldfish racing to the surface at feeding time.
I think this calls for a name change.
Alek James Heydell -> Brandon Iron -> Whorin Buffet (tm)
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#361789 - 10/08/08 07:39 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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All I'm saying is that midgets tend to be a mans fetish not a womans.
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#361791 - 10/08/08 05:54 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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Quote:
Shooosh. You're oozing midget Cum from every orifice.
Ryan, back off, man. We can both be men and admit that no one knows more about men's fetishes and fantasies than have2shit. He is a wealth of knowledge of all things relating to franks and beans. We should all listen very closely as he schools us in what homosexuals want.
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#361792 - 10/09/08 04:47 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
Shooosh. You're oozing midget Cum from every orifice.
Impossible, or else you'd be on your knees trying to lap it up.
Brandon calling me have2shit and a homo. What's next calling me a douchebag? A clear graduate of the smartt school of internet taunts.
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#361793 - 10/09/08 05:09 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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Quote:
All I'm saying is that midgets tend to be a mans fetish not a womans.
And all I'm saying is that you need to focus your attention on the ladies....and not the laddies.
This is a lady:
And this is a laddy:
Get it straight even though no one can do the same for you.
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#361794 - 10/09/08 05:46 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
This is a lady:
How would you know?
Quote:
And this is a laddy:
Goog god is that you as a child, no wonder you're insecure. Did I strike a nerve with the smartt mention? When you go to Brazil does he take you tranny hopping? Nothing says male bonding like dropping a load in the same he-shes mouth. 
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#361796 - 10/09/08 09:55 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Broccoli Buy Piss Mop
Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 1802
Loc: Getting pissed on
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Quote:
Nothing says male bonding like dropping a load in the same he-shes mouth.
And nothing would suit have2shitty better then brushing his own teeth with that he-she cum and chasing it down with some of Smartt's homemade mouthwash 
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#361797 - 10/09/08 02:46 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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have2shit is crossing all kinds of lines but I find this statement particurly revolting on many levels:
"Nothing says male bonding like dropping a load in the same he-shes mouth."
This is not the Castro district or the Tenderloin or wherever the fuck it is you put your perversions to practice. One more outburst like that, you twisted little sister, and I'm a gonna have to ban you and your chap-wearing ass. This is not a place for you to indoctrinate others on male bonding. I grant that you are an expert but please take it elsewhere. And if you bring up your ties to NAMBLA, I'm just going to report you to the same authorities that took down Max. I won't feel good doing it but if it saves just one child, it will be worth it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NAMBLA
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#361800 - 10/10/08 06:05 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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and I'm sure you don't have herpes either. 
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#361801 - 10/10/08 06:59 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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What I do have is the knowledge that I will continue to get as many blowjobs as I want. Cue the "yeah but you pay for it" rebuttle as the only vein that functions in your body, the one bulging from your prominent forehead, throbs with disgust.
At least my heart attack will come from too much pleasure. Yours, too little.
Buddha was right: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Sniff, sniff....hey! What's that smell? Oh...your smoldering flesh....DOH! Even the Sanskrit's Enlightened One is laughing at you. Tsk. Tsk.
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#361807 - 10/10/08 08:01 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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Yes, I can see you are sharp enough to fast-track your investigation. If your notes are correct, it started with Anita Blonde in 1997. I wrestled a giant rubber snake to save her and the embarrassing footage was uploaded at the expense of my feelings of self-worth. I was voted Least Talented Person on youtube until Sanjaya came along. Do you confirm these findings, Matlock?
Remember, FBI backwards stands for I Be Fuckin'.
You Be Whinin'.
Don't be hating a man for getting as much pussy as that man desires.
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#361810 - 10/10/08 01:47 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
What I do have is the knowledge that I will continue to get as many blowjobs as I can pay for.
Fixed.
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#361812 - 10/10/08 04:06 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Broccoli Buy Piss Mop
Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 1802
Loc: Getting pissed on
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Quote:
Quote:
What I do have is the knowledge that I will continue to get as many blowjobs as I can pay for.
Fixed.
What's the difference you retard? Can you afford to buy a blowjob movie? Me thinks Nah.
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#361813 - 10/10/08 04:37 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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Quote:
Christ this is still going on? :roll eyes:
Speaking of Anita Blonde, I had a little crush on her partner-in-crime Anita Dark back at the time.
(Me speaking in a McCain-type of voice at the next Town Hall XXX Meeting): My friends, we've got many problems. The economy is tanking. Women are now entering MMA fights...I'm looking at you, Gina Carano. Single men such as myself are receiving the best blowjobs that money can buy. Yet we still have this nagging doubt, this lack of confidence in our pornographic leaders. Listen, friends, I've been a maverick ever since shooting a load on Ashley Nicole's face in BONFIRE OF THE PANTIES back in 1991. I have the experience. When that phone call comes at 3am from a drunken whore looking to earn a few bucks, I won't require any on-the-job training. America can trust me to do the right thing.
People are worried about losing their homes. I know how to fix this. My plan calls for immediate action. Any attractive woman 18-25 who swallows will be allowed to stay in my home. That's not rocket science, that's good economic policy.
Now, I don't like to speak badly about my opponent but let's get to know have2cit. He has ties with many radical groups such as NOW (National Organization for Women). He donates every year to Breast Cancer Awareness. He refuses to admit that emergency shelters, or "newly-single bars" as I call them, are ideal recruiting places.
So, America (especially the ladies), you can get with this (points finger at self) or you can get with that one. Do the right thing on Erection Day and vote in a man with experience. We're not even sure have2shit can get it up. I, on the other hand, know how to organize communitites of young women. Usually, I organize them from shortest to tallest on their knees.
I know how to reach across the aisle and tickle the fancies of the Obama Mamas as well as the McCainiacs. I've also reached under tables and played footsie, too. Folks, when it comes to receiving blowjobs, there are not many places I won't reach out to.
On November 4th, vote for a maverick, not someone who still drives one.
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#361815 - 10/11/08 09:38 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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The last time you bragged about having a rice burner, you were celebrating your purchase of a used wok at a garage sale in Chatsworth.
I'm glad you are now employed and off food stamps. I salute your courage, too, in not being ashamed for mistakenly eating all those stamps when you first qualified. They were meant to be taken to grocery stores, not microwaved. Your glue-like diarrhea was no laughing matter. When that Salvation Army outreach worker called you the stupidest person on earth, I defended your honor by biting my tongue. Not many people would have cleaned and licked stamps that came out of their own butt. You are a brave soul.
You are not the idiot everyone thinks you are.
By the way, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you this past week about investing in the stock market. I thought you were joking when you left that message about buying Lehman Brothers. It was obvious to me that in no way did you think you were purchasing actual men. Let your critics snicker behind your back, man. You're a misunderstood, incontinent genius.
And about your alternative request to buy Goldman's Sack.....uh, all I could find was Goldman Sachs. You are one kinky fucker, I'll admit that. Mort said you should drop by his pharmacy to pick up your penicillin, too.
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#361821 - 10/11/08 10:33 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Some people read up on board, do a little investigating, before diving right in, some morons just jump in head first without knowing what's gone on in the past. You need to ask yourself: Which one am I?
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#361822 - 10/11/08 11:45 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 458
Loc: the ATL
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Uhh can we get back to the topic at hand??  Is Kapri Styles the sexiest black Porn whore in the business today or what?? I mean don't get me wrong, I like Marie Luv and I can always go for some Monique. But there is something about Kapri, NO?  So, Brandon what movie is this for? Or is it just for the website?
_________________________
"mmmmm.. nuthin says lovin like...eating babies!!!"-Sierra Sinn
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#361823 - 10/12/08 12:48 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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Thanks, gonzo420. You are a breath of fresh air in an otherwise poop potpourri-filled chat room. It will always anger some dudes when other dudes are behaving to their utmost dudability. Kapri will be released at www.covermyface.com as well as a JM Productions released dvd. Working on it now, man.
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#361824 - 10/12/08 01:37 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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#361825 - 10/12/08 03:48 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Broccoli Buy Piss Mop
Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 1802
Loc: Getting pissed on
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Quote:
Which one am I?
You're the one that doesn't get laid. Ever.
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#361826 - 10/12/08 03:49 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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We are talking about women who fuck on camera and you are talking about domestic duties. Careful, Ed Gein. You might shap and go off the deep end.
(When I shoot at a location, it's not ordinary practice to steam clean anything but the woman who got messed up.)
Your fixation with vacuums makes me wonder what other uses they serve for you. Be careful, my friend. You are not mechanically inclined. Remember that time you wrote me about an interview at www.loadmymouth.com where the woman said she blamed hickies on her then-14-year-old neck as being burns from a curling iron? I found out you seriously injured yourself by inserting a plugged-in curling iron into your anus. Sir, I don't know how you withstood that pain but you are a a hero to every gay ER nurse west of the Mississippi. Talk about the resiliency of your asshole has become legend at Cedars-Sinai and I hope you are sitting on chairs without the aid of a blow-up donut ring soon.
It was not me who started calling you Krispy Creme behind your back......just know that, ok?
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#361827 - 10/12/08 04:06 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
We are talking about women who fuck on camera and you are talking about domestic duties. Careful, Ed Gein. You might shap and go off the deep end.
(When I shoot at a location, it's not ordinary practice to steam clean anything but the woman who got messed up.)
Your fixation with vacuums makes me wonder what other uses they serve for you. Be careful, my friend. You are not mechanically inclined. Remember that time you wrote me about an interview at www.loadmymouth.com where the woman said she blamed hickies on her then-14-year-old neck as being burns from a curling iron? I found out you seriously injured yourself by inserting a plugged-in curling iron into your anus. Sir, I don't know how you withstood that pain but you are a a hero to every gay ER nurse west of the Mississippi. Talk about the resiliency of your asshole has become legend at Cedars-Sinai and I hope you are sitting on chairs without the aid of a blow-up donut ring soon.
It was not me who started calling you Krispy Creme behind your back......just know that, ok?
Call me and whoever else wants to call me whatever they want, like I mentioned in a previous thread, no one pays my bills or my housekeeper. I like a clean home, is there something wrong with that?
Do you think that will hurt my feelings about the Kreme remark? Trust me, it doesn't. I've heard it all and then some. So whatever you or your posee need to say, go right ahead. I indulge in my beautiful stuff while thinking oh yeah an internet tough guy/girl said something about me. Boo-fucking-hoo. Im hurt now, should I go kill myself and give up my wonderful life?, cause someone on a porno forum board said something negative about me? I dont think so.  
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#361829 - 10/13/08 06:31 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
Quote:
Which one am I?
You're the one that doesn't get laid. Ever.
Sorry Ryan, you're XPT's worn out whore, no ones gonna bite unless there is absolutely nothing else going on
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#361830 - 10/13/08 10:09 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Please get off your donut ring, take a bite out of it, and relax. It's just a joke. Now I'll escalate things by accusing you of having ring around the collar....as in: You stick your head up assholes but cannot wait for them to remove their donut rings from theri butts. Thus, you get shit stains around your collar while your head is that far up their butts.
See how fun it can be to just enjoy this? Now you try....
Oh BI that was a knee slapper, when your too old to shove your dick down diseased whores, you can be a comic.
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#361832 - 10/14/08 01:54 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Broccoli Buy Piss Mop
Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 1802
Loc: Getting pissed on
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Quote:
Sorry Ryan, you're XPT's worn out whore, no ones gonna bite unless there is absolutely nothing else going on
Then you'll have plenty of opporotunity to keep giving me internet head.
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#361833 - 10/14/08 07:59 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Men don't have expiry dates in porn. I cannot see a time when I would not want to be fellated.
I tend to disagree, see Dick Nasty.
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#361835 - 10/14/08 08:24 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Dick Nasty represents more of my argument than yours. He has been living carefree for years....YEARS...while most people toil away at jobs they tolerate.
I will put this in writing: I ASPIRE TO BE THE NEXT DICK NASTY.
 Oh boy BI. I like you but dont aspire to be like him, quit while you're ahead...(get it a head)  I know lame, but Im tired, and Im going to watch jail television.
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#361842 - 10/14/08 09:48 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Pervert
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
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Quote:
I tell you what Brandon. Lets ask Pornlaw whether it is settled law that someone could import talent across state lines into California specifically for filming purposes and the Government could not successfully charge them under 18 USCS 2421.
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#361844 - 10/14/08 10:07 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
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And why waste time enyoying the sweet, sweet pieces of pussy candy laid out in aisles like a 7-11 store. We should focus on politics, laws, and games of woulda-coulda-shoulda.
Good grief. I'll bet your favorite piece of legislation is the Mann Act. Double good grief.
Moving on, I am the happy recipient of JM Productions newest honor: THE TRIFECTA CLUB. It is given once every 100 years when a producer gets spots 1, 2, and 3 at www.adultdvdnow.com.
Here's the top movies at the moment:
1. SHE IS HALF MY AGE #4
2. HOOKERS AND BLOW #2
3. POP TARTS #2
4. OH NO! THERE'S A NEGRO IN MY MOM #2
5. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SUCKED A NEGRO
6. AMERICAN GOKKUN #4- BLU RAY
7. AMERICAN BUKKAKE #15
8. TOUGH LOVE #11 - BLU RAY
9. HELL FIRE SEX #12
10. BUTT LICKING ANAL WHORES #9
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#361845 - 10/15/08 07:06 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
I find it interesting to hear advice from people....but with no follow up. Please tell me what is better than receiving as much oral sex as a man can handle?
Maybe diseased, dying of Aids, I mean you do stick your dick in some of the nasty holes I've seen and there's alot of this board. I dont want you to die BI, I worry for you. 
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#361849 - 10/15/08 09:31 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
You keep worrying. I'll keep enjoying.
Works for me.
I cannot tell you how good it felt to get sucked off by Alex Love hours ago. My penis is still twitching with joy.
Well I worry cause my taxes go up for probably paying ofr your medications, this isnt Canada where healthcare is free ya know. Believe me if you think I actually worry about you catching anything then like I said in another post, things do fly over your head....(go ahead insert pun here about head  )
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#361851 - 10/17/08 01:58 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Broccoli Buy Piss Mop
Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 1802
Loc: Getting pissed on
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Quote:
Quote:
My penis is still twitching with joy.
that's not joy, brandon... i think it's your peen telling you it's about time for another round of valtrex
Are all 3,200 of your other posts this lame?
You and Ren should get a room 
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#361852 - 10/18/08 10:58 AM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
My penis is still twitching with joy.
that's not joy, brandon... i think it's your peen telling you it's about time for another round of valtrex
Are all 3,200 of your other posts this lame?
You and Ren should get a room
Who says we haven't already BI? We dont post everything on the board ya know.
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#361853 - 10/22/08 01:10 PM
Re: Kapri Styles needs an intervention....NOW
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ADT regular
Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 1
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hey if wanna know of a good porn site then you guys should check out www.whackvideo.com
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