A douche isn't essential if you're only going in there gently for a few minutes. My last girlfriend would always shower at bedtime and I would just clean her asshole with my middle finger and some shampoo whilst losing myself in headteacher-fingers-schoolgirl-after-netball-practice fantasies. (She was 16 years younger than me.) We never had any stinky moments. It helped that she was tight.

Bur if you bang away like a jackhammer as if you're in a movie the bowel sometimes reacts and ejects whatever is up there, even the stuff that was planning on staying in the body until the next morning. This is more likely to happen with the experienced sphincter.

If I were to encounter a turd I would be the gentleman, send the lady to the toilet, then shower with her, finger at the ready. I don't see why men shouldn't clean it if they're planning to enjoy it. The bonus is that it gives you a nice glow of territory ownership.