Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?

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#360531 - 09/14/08 04:52 AM Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
IdahoArapaho Rob Black's Crack Pipe Registered: 02/26/06 Posts: 50	What is the proper etiquette when you're just starting anal sex with a woman and hit a turd? Recently, I hooked up with a waitress I work with. As we were fooling around, I started massaging her butthole and she told me she was down with some anal if I took my time and get her ass loose. Since anal is a rare treat for me, I was lucky I didn't blow my wad on the spot. Anyway, I grab the lube and start poking around. But, alas, when I slipped my index finger im fully, it struck the head end of a round brown sewer worm. I wasn't sure what to do. I now had shit on the end of my finger and I damn sure didn't want to get it on the end of my pecker. I fumbled an excuse and went into the bathroom and used her toothbrush to scrub the feces from under my fingernail (I then sterilized both finger and toothbrush with Listerine). I ended up just doing some regular pussy fucking. My question is, "What should I have done when encountering a turd in the ass of pretty woman?"
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#360532 - 09/14/08 05:26 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
Smell of Anus Internet Tough Guy Registered: 07/14/08 Posts: 787	Dude, anal sex without preparations (enema, etc) WILL involve shit on your dick/fingers unless you are fucking an anorectic bitch. I guess the proper way to deal with it is to ask the girl to go get cleaned out before you start playing.
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#360533 - 09/14/08 07:19 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
pretty Chronic Masturbator Registered: 03/29/08 Posts: 1991 Loc: colorado	she should douche her ass out first a buncha times till the water comes out clear and she shouldnt eat for a day or two before _________________________ "Should send her our way, XPT could REALLY get her warmed up for any kind of abuse she might get later. "- nugent
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#360534 - 09/14/08 07:30 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
freestylah Porn Jesus Registered: 12/28/07 Posts: 4856 Loc: The 4th International	Quote: and she shouldnt eat for a day or two before How can all those anal queens survive, when they're not eating 60% of the time? I guess there were times when Hillary Scott or Belladonna weren't eating for weeks. _________________________ The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.
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#360535 - 09/14/08 09:04 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
the unknown pervert Porn Jesus Registered: 03/22/07 Posts: 5186 Loc: Joshua Tree National Park	Quote: round brown sewer worm. I approve of alliteration. I don't know how to spell it but I approve of it. _________________________ I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#360536 - 09/14/08 11:23 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
faceblaster Elder of Zion Porn Jesus Registered: 05/06/04 Posts: 5230 Loc: watching Bad Ronald	Quote: Quote: and she shouldnt eat for a day or two before How can all those anal queens survive, when they're not eating 60% of the time? I guess there were times when Hillary Scott or Belladonna weren't eating for weeks. _________________________ I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward
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#360537 - 09/14/08 11:43 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
loopnode Porn Jesus Registered: 01/12/05 Posts: 7322 Loc: The Children's Limbo	Quote: W. Anyway, I grab the lube and start poking around. But, alas, when I slipped my index finger im fully, it struck the head end of a round brown sewer worm. I wasn't sure what to do. Next time just hold your breath and smash it til you bust a nut. _________________________ I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
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#360538 - 09/15/08 12:30 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
gia jordan Porn Jesus Registered: 09/07/05 Posts: 14160 Loc: NYC	Quote: Quote: and she shouldnt eat for a day or two before How can all those anal queens survive, when they're not eating 60% of the time? I guess there were times when Hillary Scott or Belladonna weren't eating for weeks. You eat after your scene and that's it. That's all you get if you're doing anal the next day. _________________________ "What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#360539 - 09/15/08 05:59 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
oregongaper Rob Black's Crack Pipe Registered: 06/27/04 Posts: 62 Loc: go figure	People who take it in the ass with any frequency often "get in tune" with their body enough to know how clean things might be at any given point. Cleaning out for anal doesn't have to be a huge chore. Sometimes a good shit and a douche to rinse out are plenty. In the OP's case, the dizzy bitch oughta had the courtesy to at least go to the bathroom before she invited him to ream her drainfield of love _________________________ <----Melissa Black, doing her best cave imitation.
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#360540 - 09/15/08 06:14 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
Crocodile Pervert Registered: 12/26/07 Posts: 2056	Hi, Ceara! How's it going? _________________________ "If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#360541 - 09/15/08 11:40 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
IWAdult Internet Tough Guy Registered: 05/07/06 Posts: 756 Loc: Somewhere in the middle	Just be thankful you were only fingering her ass and not eating her ass. _________________________ www.iwadult.com
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#360542 - 09/15/08 06:41 PM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
pornodux Max Hardcore Prison Bitch Registered: 03/23/05 Posts: 422 Loc: Mitteleuropa	Quote: How can all those anal queens survive, when they're not eating 60% of the time? That's why girls like Naomi turned into a walking skeleton. Either that or
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#360543 - 09/15/08 09:02 PM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
weeeee Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer Registered: 01/09/06 Posts: 1248	Quote: Hi, Ceara! How's it going? Im good, thanks.
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#360544 - 09/15/08 11:55 PM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
Anonymous Unregistered	I say give her some...... http://www.colonblow.com/ wait awhile until bowel evacuation.....then go to town!
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#360545 - 09/16/08 10:08 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
Willie D Porn Jesus Registered: 09/20/05 Posts: 9195	Old SNL skit. Attachments 348134-colonblow.jpg (12 downloads)
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#360546 - 09/16/08 10:40 AM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
OneNut Ed Hardy Wearing Loser Registered: 09/15/08 Posts: 31 Loc: Brixton, London, England	A douche isn't essential if you're only going in there gently for a few minutes. My last girlfriend would always shower at bedtime and I would just clean her asshole with my middle finger and some shampoo whilst losing myself in headteacher-fingers-schoolgirl-after-netball-practice fantasies. (She was 16 years younger than me.) We never had any stinky moments. It helped that she was tight. Bur if you bang away like a jackhammer as if you're in a movie the bowel sometimes reacts and ejects whatever is up there, even the stuff that was planning on staying in the body until the next morning. This is more likely to happen with the experienced sphincter. If I were to encounter a turd I would be the gentleman, send the lady to the toilet, then shower with her, finger at the ready. I don't see why men shouldn't clean it if they're planning to enjoy it. The bonus is that it gives you a nice glow of territory ownership.
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#360547 - 09/20/08 03:35 PM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
freestylah Porn Jesus Registered: 12/28/07 Posts: 4856 Loc: The 4th International	"What should I have done when encountering a turd in the ass of pretty woman?" I do not know what you should have done. But I can tell you what you could have done. Squeeze some lube in her ass, put on a rubber and start fucking her. After some minutes, your rubber-covered dick should be showing some shit traces. Then switch from her ass to her pussy and repeat the process for a while. This would be a nice lesson for the bitch. _________________________ The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.
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#360548 - 09/20/08 03:50 PM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
Gigi Porn Fucking Master Registered: 05/18/06 Posts: 3555	i have nothing to add except that i think a good name for a gay porn guy might be "colin POW!" _________________________ "I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way." --Handful
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#360549 - 09/22/08 10:23 PM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
Zartan ADT regular Registered: 05/22/07 Posts: 13	Ewwwww... My Humble Adult Blog...
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#360550 - 09/24/08 11:52 PM Re: Etiquette When Encountering Turd in Rectum?
DNash Stormy's Lawyer Registered: 06/29/06 Posts: 21 Loc: Houston, TX	Quote: What is the proper etiquette when you're just starting anal sex with a woman and hit a turd? Recently, I hooked up with a waitress I work with. As we were fooling around, I started massaging her butthole and she told me she was down with some anal if I took my time and get her ass loose. Since anal is a rare treat for me, I was lucky I didn't blow my wad on the spot. Anyway, I grab the lube and start poking around. But, alas, when I slipped my index finger im fully, it struck the head end of a round brown sewer worm. I wasn't sure what to do. I now had shit on the end of my finger and I damn sure didn't want to get it on the end of my pecker. I fumbled an excuse and went into the bathroom and used her toothbrush to scrub the feces from under my fingernail (I then sterilized both finger and toothbrush with Listerine). I ended up just doing some regular pussy fucking. My question is, "What should I have done when encountering a turd in the ass of pretty woman?" If you can't handle a little shit from time to time you shouldn't be doing anal. I say just ignore the turd and fuck that ass. _________________________
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