The ladies I am most attracted to have juicy bodies (with big tits) and are somewhat mentally unstable. Funny and smart are ok, but actually in the end aren't much better than not-that-smart and not-irritating. More important than her intellect is her willingness to take care of her body. I don't like skinny girls, but not getting fat is critical. And she has to be very dirty; I'm done with women who aren't ready for some serious fucking. Conservative politics is a deal-breaker. I don't care if she looks like Scarlet Johanssen, she can fuck off if she seriously uses the expression 'liberal media bias' in my presence. Religion is also bad.

It would be very cool if she was a musician, but since I have never in my life met an actual female who knew anything about playing music (not singing), I quit holding my breath about 15 years ago. I know female musicians exist because I have seen one or two on tv, but I've never actually met one.

So really I'm not that picky - not fat, big tits, not too dumb, not Conservative, not irritating, very dirty.