True Story: About three months ago, while working out with my friend in the free weights section at a 24hr Fitness in Vegas, there was this ridiculously hot chick bench pressing with the aid of her very manish female trainer. This chick was really straining, and her trainer was barking words of encouragement at her.

A few minutes later, we hear the bar come down hard on the rack and look over. The chick is now seated up, visibly distraught about something. Her visibly panicked trainer is looking around at everyone in the vicinity (about four or five people, not counting myself and my friend), and after a few seconds she snaps up the chick's sweat towel from off the ground, looks around again, and then motions for the chick to stand up. The chick, now looking as though she's fighting back tears, springs up, tucks the towel into the back of her oh-so-very-short shorts, leaving it out enough to cover most of her ass, then penguin-walks off with the trainer practically riding her heels.

She shit her pants. I guess she strained too hard or something. Alex Panzer should have been there to perform his civic duties (haha, I said 'duties') on her before she left for the gym that day.