I posted this in hopes of starting an intellectual discussion. Sigh....


Now, I believe that belly stretch marks are life-affirming. They demonstrate accomplishment and purpose. Ass stretch marks are a whole other kettle of fish. They conjure up images of butts birthing baby-sized logs....fissure-causing turds that angrily push and shove their way down the Colon Causeway towards a watery grave.

It's sad, really. Nothing life-affirming whatsoever. A literal and figurative void is left in their skidmarked wake. Empty nest and empty bowels.

Sure, we can Febreeze our way back to our comfortable middle-class humdrum but all we have to remember these lost turd-children are the stretch marks. Sniff....(crying, not smelling in some perverted way......at least for now)