First, we need to hire a private investigator to find Jamie Huxley. Now, "kidnap" is too strong a word to use so I think we should just strongly persuade her that she needs a vacation to Los Angeles....immediately.
(reaches for Yellow Pages...shuffling...."Magnum....Magnum P.I......What the fuck? Did he retire or something?")
God, I love this pic from the time Tom Selleck visited JM Productions office. The year was 1984. The Olympics were in LA. There was a buzz in the air. Jeff saw the Ferrari and said, "I can do better." Well, sir, you did. Any car afficiando knows a Lambo trumps a Ferrari. But peace did not come to the Valley that hot, steamy summer. Friday night drag races between Tom and Jeff on the Ventura Freeway led to numerous close calls and speeding tickets. Partisan fans would joke about "Tom and Jerry" but this only incensed Jeff. He challenged Tom to a pink slip race on Van Nuys Blvd starting at World Modeling and ending at the Amtrak station where so many single, young women would disembark with a suitcase in hand. In a Grease-like moment, Olivia Newton John showed up to wave a handkerchief to start the race.
We all know how this race finished, of course. It's legendary in the Valley.
Years later, rebuilding his television career, Selleck was overheard by a paparazzi outside the Key Club saying, "I may have lost the race but I won Olivia Newton John's heart."
SHE IS HALF MY AGE #4 covergirl Kasey Jordan wasn't yet born. All the magic and splendor of porn was to unfold later in life. Sleep the somber slumber of unborn babies, Kasey. Save your energy. You will need it.
Sssshhh!!! (Tip toes from room.)
FIN.