Quote:







I mentioned this once before but in a totally different context....One of my favorite things to do to entertain myself is to attend an open house where some celebrated real estate whore is showing off the place. As she is taking you around and yapping up a storm about all the wonderful reasons you should buy and live in this house, you hold up your hand and interrupt her spiel at some point, sniff deeply twice -- *sniff* *sniff* -- and then rhettorically ask the question "What is that smell?!?!?!" ... and then leave. Good times, especially in today's economy.

PLUS...if you are having a REALLY good day, the real estate whore will also be totally fucking Hott, and desperate, and will recognize your name and presence as someone with $$$, she will chase after you in her stylish but uncomfortable and impractical shoes and offer to see you after the crowd dissipates to discuss "concessions" .... and thats when you politely but firmly tell her "I'll sign the preliminary paperwork on this moneypit, if you get down on your knees inside that ridiculously post-modernistic-Roman-Empire-meets-Silicon Valley style Bathroom right now and allow me to ejaculate into your mouth..." If she says NO, you walk...if she readily and greedily agrees, you go ahead, splooge like you never splooged before, AND then you LEAVE, with her on her knees, cum dripping from her chin and purchasing paperwork clutched in her hand with the perfect nails. More good times....
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?