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#355528 - 08/23/08 11:13 PM Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
ok... last night i ordered in some chinese food cause my car was in the shop and i was hungry.

Well... tonight i pop open my fortune cookie and read the fortune that reads like a poster on the wall in the movie Brazil.

"You can depend on the trust of the Collective"

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!

_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355529 - 08/23/08 11:15 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
Sounds very Maoist.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K

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#355530 - 08/23/08 11:22 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
damnit! i wanted Orange Chicken... not Red Propaganda
_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355531 - 08/23/08 11:24 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Spunko Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 08/04/06
Posts: 1155
Loc: U.S. Outpost 31
Best fortune ever...

"That wasn't chicken"
_________________________
I know you gentlemen have been through a lot,and when you find the time...I'd rather not spend the rest of the winter tied to this fucking couch!

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#355532 - 08/23/08 11:36 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
k1ng Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
lao tzu in the house bitches!



Attachments
342311-r.JPG (17 downloads)

_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey

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#355533 - 08/23/08 11:48 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
ha!, i had been looking for that pic the other day....

my hair was really orange there.. think it was the one bleaching where i forgot to put redout in it and had to do it again the next day. I know it was while Kei was recovering from surgery.

And yes... that TaoTeChing still travels with me everywhere i go... has for over a decade now.



Even Lao Tzu would be pissed about that fortune cookie though...

Could be worse though... I remember Kei getting one that said "you have really done it this time, go think about what you have done."

_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355534 - 08/24/08 01:16 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
nice to know three day suit brokers still has customers. jesus christ, longshot, these are the suits you're bragging about? you look like wankus's little brother.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K

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#355535 - 08/24/08 01:39 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
I like pinstripes... i'm a fucking guido, ill lose my passport if i dont have at least one pinstriped suit. That being said... you cant see shit of it in the about 25 pixel height that it takes up in that avatar, you can see a little bit of a vest. i dont own a suit that isnt designer.

Sadly, my silk Versace is getting tailored... again.

And that purple shirt is awesome... bought it from some chinese tailor down in the fashion district when i lived in LA.
_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355536 - 08/24/08 03:45 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
freestylah Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
Quote:

nice to know three day suit brokers still has customers. jesus christ, longshot, these are the suits you're bragging about? you look like wankus's little brother.




I thought it was a picture taken at a Halloween or carnival party!
_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.

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#355537 - 08/24/08 05:26 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Monstar Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
why.so.serious?
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ContactPornStars.com TheStarFactoryEnt.com

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#355538 - 08/24/08 05:35 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
damn you monstar....

that shirt is in like 20pics... and NOW people start making joker references. I dont know whether to hate heath ledger, or roll with i and become a psychopathic killer...

:P
_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355539 - 08/24/08 07:13 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Outback Whack Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 314
Quote:


Could be worse though... I remember Kei getting one that said "you have really done it this time, go think about what you have done."





Obviously a reference to her work for Eon McKai.

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#355540 - 08/24/08 12:22 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
Quote:

Quote:


Could be worse though... I remember Kei getting one that said "you have really done it this time, go think about what you have done."







Obviously a reference to her work for Eon McKai.




bwuhahhahahahaha
_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355541 - 09/05/08 09:12 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Anonymous
Unregistered


Quote:


And yes... that TaoTeChing still travels with me everywhere i go... has for over a decade now.






Maybe you should try reading it sometime. Just a thought.

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#355542 - 09/05/08 09:36 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
i dont read it... i study it.
_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355543 - 09/05/08 10:10 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
Hamsters love fortune cookies.


Pants is even the same color as they are.
_________________________


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#355544 - 09/05/08 10:11 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
thats so fucking adorable.
_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355545 - 09/05/08 10:16 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Anonymous
Unregistered


Quote:

i dont read it... i study it.





I think you need a remedial course:





$12.89 at Amazon.


Attachments
345689-14085.jpg (9 downloads)


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#355546 - 09/05/08 10:22 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795




_________________________


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#355547 - 09/05/08 10:25 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
Quote:

Quote:

i dont read it... i study it.





I think you need a remedial course:





$12.89 at Amazon.




this from the guy who was just making comments thinking Lao Tzu advocated war?

Fail.

A guy who supports a hawk like John McCain and believes every straw man in the closet hes told to be afraid of, telling me about taoism.

Quote:

HE who serves a ruler of men in harmony with Tao will not subdue the Empire by force of arms. Such a course is wont to bring retribution in its train.

Where troops have been quartered, brambles and thorns spring up. In the track of great armies there must follow lean years.

The good man wins a victory and then stops; he will not go on to acts of violence. Winning, he boasteth not; he will not triumph; he shows no arrogance. He wins because he cannot choose; after his victory he will not be overbearing.

Weapons, however beautiful, are instruments of ill omen, hateful to all creatures. Therefore he who has Tao will have nothing to do with them.

Where the princely man abides, the weak left hand is in honour. But he who uses weapons honours the stronger right. Weapons are instruments of ill omen; they are not the instruments of the princely man, who uses them only when he needs must. Peace and tranquillity are what he prizes. When he conquers, he is not elate. To be elate were to rejoice in the slaughter of human beings. And he who rejoices in the slaughter of human beings is not fit to work his will in the Empire.

On happy occasions, the left is favoured; on sad occasions, the right. The second in command has his place on the left, the general in chief on the right. That is to say, they are placed in the order observed at funeral rites. And, indeed, he who has exterminated a great multitude of men should bewail them with tears and lamentation. It is well that those who are victorious in battle should be placed in the order of funeral rites.

A certain military commander used to say: "I dare not act the host; I prefer to play the guest. * I dare not advance an inch; I prefer to retreat a foot."

There is no greater calamity than lightly engaging in war. Lightly to engage in war is to risk the loss of our treasure.

When opposing warriors join in battle, he who has pity conquers.


_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355548 - 09/05/08 10:26 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Outback Whack Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 314
Bloody hell, it seems that even hampsters are bilingual in Canada.

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#355549 - 09/05/08 10:45 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
Quote:

Bloody hell, it seems that even hampsters are bilingual in Canada.




They may be able to read English and French. But you know that 'clicking' sound a person can make with their tongue and the roof of their mouth? That is the only sound they actually respond to. And if you can snap your fingers.
_________________________


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#355550 - 09/05/08 10:45 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Anonymous
Unregistered


Quote:

A guy who supports a hawk like John McCain and believes every straw man in the closet hes told to be afraid of, telling me about taoism.




Umm, Mahmoud? Please show me the post where I've supported McCain? ANY post? Perhaps the Complete Idiot's Guide is too advanced for you. Let's start with something a bit more basic:



Attachments
345698-abc_cover copy.jpg (12 downloads)


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#355551 - 09/05/08 11:59 AM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
6655321 Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 1166
Quote:

Quote:

A guy who supports a hawk like John McCain and believes every straw man in the closet hes told to be afraid of, telling me about taoism.




Umm, Mahmoud? Please show me the post where I've supported McCain? ANY post? Perhaps the Complete Idiot's Guide is too advanced for you. Let's start with something a bit more basic:





if youre not supporting obama, by default you are supporting his opponent. lets face it... no 3rd party can win, its a two way race, right nader.
_________________________
"You're disgusting, you Caligula-esque mother fucker. But I like your avatar, so you get a pass. "-Chilledstoli If you're normal, people will accept you... but if you're DERANGED... they will make you their leader! -Christopher Titus

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#355552 - 09/05/08 12:04 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
_________________________


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#355553 - 09/05/08 12:12 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
Quote:


if youre not supporting obama, by default you are supporting his opponent. lets face it... no 3rd party can win, its a two way race, right nader.





If your not supporting Americas allies, like Israel, then by default you are supporting America enemies, like Iran. Right ewok?

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#355554 - 09/05/08 12:23 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
Anonymous
Unregistered


Quote:


if youre not supporting obama, by default you are supporting his opponent.




WOW, Mahmoud. Sounds a lot more like those intolerant Christians you claim to be worried about than Lao Tze.

He who is not with Me is against Me...

But, it's about what I'd expect from the acolyte of a would-be messiah.



Attachments
345719-kkoolad.jpg (10 downloads)


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#355555 - 09/05/08 05:05 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
This thread has taken an interesting turn a flame war randomly interspersed with hamster photos. Beckett would approve.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

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#355556 - 09/05/08 06:03 PM Re: Fucked up Fortune Cookies
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
Quote:



"You can depend on the trust of the Collective"

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!






Sounds like Borg fans.
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I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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