...Like I said...

Q. What do you say to a good looking Lot Lizard?
A. "Good Evening officer"

Q. How can you tell when a trucker is lying?
A. His lips are moving

...and just for shits and giggles...

Q. What do a good Lizard and a good trucker have in common?
A. They NEVER turn down a load.

-Keep It Dirty

OK, Fuck it! So I must confess, I finally tried me out a lot lizard a few nights ago. HAD TO KNOW. No other reason, just had to know. Plus, if you'd heard the smoochy, hot, dirty, lurid, taudry sex talk that Pretty was throwin' my way that night...anyways. I hear the girl on the C.B. radio "workin' the floor" as it were, and so I decided to respond this time.

"where you at driver?"
"3rd row back from the fuel island. What do you look like?"
"Do you want Ginger, or Mary-Anne?
"I want the one who's gonna come over to my "house" (rig) and "cook me breakfast (scramble the juevos & warm the sausage)
"What color's your house, driver?"
"Dark blue, says $#&^&%$ on the side. House # ----."
"Do you want any "jelly on your toast"? (like icing on the cake, or, extras)
"'Lightly toasted (standard fuck, nothing outlandish) will do, thanks."
"Room service will be there shortly driver"
"Good, I'm starved. Hurry."

...So she shows up at my driver's side door, and to my amazement, she was WHITE, AND CUTE!!! We agreed on donation for time, $50 for the hour, and she immediately went to work...as I continued to smoke. Fucking RAD! I could elaborate, but...ok, I'll elaborate. She blew my mind for a few minutes, and then desensitized me with the cover, hopped on, and went for the long haul. This girl would've put a good 65% of the pornwhores out there to SHAME! Long story short (too late), she stayed well past the hour, I dropped a few, she dropped a few, we hazed up the cab with a Marlboro/American Spirit amalgam that still haunts my waking moments, and then went to dinner. After that, I snuck her in the shower with me at the truckstop, and then went for a little drive so I could get some 18-wheel road head. Either she dug me, or she REALLY wants the repeat business, either way, I got fucking ROAD HEAD while driving a BIG RIG! I am currently batting 1000 with the lot lizards, and I think I'll quit while I'm a roadhead.

-Keep It Dirty