Dariah (yeah, I misspelled it, what?) here's what I think...

"Dirty, you dumb fuck..."

-Yup

"I'm jealous of Pretty Pleads..."

-Yup

"ruined her chance at marketability..."

-It's not about a market or a sales pitch or the #'s, it's about FUN. I'm smiling right now while you are furiously typing thru tears of frustration and self-loathing. Loosen up girl, damn! Sunny Lane, Christy Canyon, Mary Carey, Misty Haze, Skye Blue, Summer Cummings, Cherry Poppins, Flower Tucci, etc...what the fuck fun would this whole porn thing be without a goofy name? I picked the name I did because people laugh when they hear it, and laughing is impossible without smiling. Get it?

"I was standing up for men..."

Honey, we don't need your help with that at all. In fact, we're so good at it, we have a name for it...PORN LEAN

"casual sex..."

-No such thing in Pretty's world. Nothing "casual" about it.

"all you men that wouldn't even know where to stick it..."

-What's the best part about a blowjob? Anyone? anyone? The 5 to 10 minutes of SILENCE! I think I can safely say that I know where to stick it, and I think I know where I'd LIKE to stick it. Firmly in your throat, because silence is golden.

"her just being a cum bucket and fuck hole doesn't mean she's good at sex..."

-Um, first off, it's fuckDOLL and cumDUMPSTER, get it right. Second, uh, yeah it does in the eyes of many.

"she just lies there and takes it."

-Yup, when she's told to. Like a good girl. You could just shut the fuck up long enough to learn from Pretty. I swear if you could do that, just lay here and take it, this bloody, horrific, over-extended hazing of yours would cease in under a week or so.

All that to say this...CHILL! DAMN! relax a bit, smoke a doobie AND his brother, take a bubblebath, light some candles, have some wine, and just chill. Don't take it all so seriously. Porn, life, love, work, sex, driving, any and all of it girl. Simmer down now. Did you know it takes more energy to frown? It's true. I like you, you got spunk, (no, really, when's the last time you got spunk?) just remember to pick and choose your battles kid, and don't rush in with guns blazing and a blindfold on into your own barracks. Stop trying to clean everything up all the time...

-Keep It Dirty