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We don’t shake because I’m so religious.
WTF is that supposed to mean? Donald Trump is the same way because he's an obsessive/compulsive germophobe. Sounds like (fake) Jews and germophobes are the same thing.
An Orthodox Jew is not permitted to shake the hand of a woman he is not related to.
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"All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."