One of the more intriguiging new Female posters to park her ass at XPT recently is Gia Jerkin's friend, Chilled Stoli. She is a non-porn civilian but seems to be, at heart, a very intelligent (and according to Gia), a very strokeable Whore-in-civilian's fashion. Her Russian heritage in particular picqued Comrade Burglar's interest, so I asked her if I could do the "Civilian" version of my typical Porn chick interview. Stoli agreed, acknowledging my warning that because this is XPT, even a civilian interview will still be totally friggin' pervy with an emphasis on trying to determine just how much of a true, pervy whore exists within Stoli's soul (assuming she has one.) But let's be honest, the fact that she is Gia's girl-friend gives her a whorish dimension most civilian chicks dont have. We can all imagine Gia corrupting this young woman with tales of Porn debauchery...or maybe, just MAYBE, Stoli corrupted Gia....let's find out.


1a) Let's start off with something about Russian Chicks.....it is my considered opinion that Russia is home to some of the hottest women on the planet. To what would you attribute this, Stoli? Is it the cold preserving Russian women's beauty much as my freezer is currently preserving all kinds of MEAT for me to indulge in later? Or is it the lack of sunshine in Russia that protects women from the damage that most idiotic American women do to themselves by baking in the sun? Discuss.

1b) I know you said you are rather petite and svelte, and Gia has backed this up. But in my experience, Russian chicks consistently have some of the best, biggest boobs on earth. In escorting/sex-for-pay circles, just as "Greek" refers to anal sex, "Russian" refers to tit-fucking. Is there something in the typical Russian diet that might explain the fact that so many Russian chicks have awesome breasts? And do you at least have big enough boobs to tit-fuck your man's pulsating pistoning penis?

2a) You briefly touched upon your personal porn predilections in the thread about female porn viewing...but let us dig a little deeper. Have you ever rubbed one (or more) out to a porn scene? If so tell us about the scene in 'ass' much detail as possible (this is to test Dr. Burglar's theory that porn BURNS itself into your memory like nothing else, and people who cant remember what they just ate an hour ago CAN remember what a particular porn scene displayed if they watched it years ago.)

2b) If you came home and found your man furiously pounding his engorged reproductive organ in a rapid up-and-down motion while watching a porn flick, what would do and how would you handle it? Do you consider that cheating? Would you angrily confront him, startling him to such an extent his pulsating penile appendage immediately goes to zero on the wood scale? Would you stay hidden and watch your man splooge all over himself? Would you join in and perhaps lovingly HELP him by offering your face as a jizz rag for his reproductive fluids? Also, in the event you decided to stay hidden and watch him, what if you saw that his splooge went flying and landed on an expensive pair of your shoes, or something else nice and tough to replace? Would you put that now-splooged upon item up for sale on e-bay?

3) Personal Chilled Stoli Info, Part 1:

- What is your favorite part of a Man's Body? Favorite part of a Woman's Body?

- What is your favorite food? Favorite TV Show? Favorite non-porn Movie of all time?

- What is your favorite Musical Band/Group?

- Have you ever been to a Strip Club and if so, what is your favorite club?

- What is your favorite amusement park ride? What is your favorite casino game?

- What is your favorite junk food?

- Besides Ruski Standard, what is your favorite BOOZE to drink?

- Do you smoke pot or dabble in any other controlled substances?

4) Okay here is a SUPER technical PERV question that I feel comfortable posing to you because you are sharp, and because GIA is the only other person I would ask as being capable enough, and enough of a sophisticated whore to appreciate and answer. Feel free to consult with Baby G to come up with solution, but there is no steadfast right or wrong here. It is a test of many qialities......

First, consider the average guy who jerks off to porn. When he watches a scene and strokes, he is vicariously substituing himself and his excited penis into the scene he is watching. More often than not, guys will "TIME" their orgasm with the cumshot that takes place in a porn scene, imagining that it is THEIR jizz oozing into Gia Jordan's mouth, to reference an example ...... You with me so far Chilled Stoli?

Second, you recently claimed that you were unfamiliar with what "Cumfarting" involved....I assume you probably know by now what it is, but just in case, in a "nut"shell, Cumfarting involves the ROMANTIC practice of a man, or MEN, splooging inside a chick's ass and then everyone watching INTENSELY as the chick pushes out the wad of splooge for all to see...a farting sound often accompanies this sexual act. And more often than not, when the chick poops out the splooge, she accumulates it on a plate or in a glass and consumes it. Watch the Movie "DIRTPIPE MILK SHAKES Volume 1 thru 3" to see for yourself this act of love between men and women.

Now I, Da Burglar, jaded crippled pervert that I am, have never quite reconciled this practice with romance or even acceptable sexual practice...in particular, how the fuck do I jerk off to it? WHEN exactly do I time my own vicarious splooge to a scene like this? When the creeps are actually ejaculating into the porn chick's ass? When the splooge is coming OUT of her ass? OR...when she gobbles the poop-splooge down? Help me, please. HELP. HELP! HELLLP!! Ahhhhh! fuck AHHHHH!!!

5) <3 xanax and a bowl of conrflakes later....> Ok Chilled Stoli, having covered the romantic act of cumfarting, let's ask YOU what you find romantic in general.

-- What is more romantic, a Candlelight Dinner followed by sex, or Breakfast in Bed after sex?

-- What is more romantic, a box of chocolates, or flowers?

-- A weekend in Vegas or Atlantic City, or a weekend in a cabin in the woods with NO electricity.

-- A guy who scored 740 Verbal on his SAT, or a guy with a 8 inch penis who likes to smack you in the cheeks and forehead with it?

-- What is more romantic, Valentines day, or a wedding anniversary?

-- What is more romantic: A Jumbotron message at a sporting event saying "Chilled Stoli Marry ME" or a wedding invitation you find spelled out with M&Ms on the kitchen floor when you wake up one morning after a night of Balls Deep Anal sex (but no cumfarting)?

-- What is more romantic, your man Donkey Punching you as he shoots his load inside you and creampies your pussy, or your man holding your nose while he throat fucks you?

6a) What have you ever done in your life? Answer Da or Nyet.....

-- Sex in Public?

-- 2 or more guys at once?

-- Sex with 1 or more Girls?

-- Swallow Cum?

-- Use a double-dip dildo (one that allows you to fuck both your pussy and ass at the same time)? And if you answered "da" to the 2 or more guys question, have you ever been Dp'd in real life?

-- Have you ever cheated on someone while you were in a relationship? if "da", did it feel better because you were sneaking and cheating?

6b) When did you first start masturbating? When did you first achieve a "BONERFIDE" real orgasm, and after acheiving a real orgasm, how often did you masturbate on average each day?

6c) Describe how and when you lost your virginity (i.e. had a real penis piston your vagina)?

7) Chilled stoli info part 2:

Rank the following things in importance for what you want and look for in a man (1 is MOST important, 2 second most important, 3....etc.):

Sense of Humor
Money
Intelligence
Size of his Cock
Looks
Honesty
Ability to Fix things
Ability to cook
The taste of his CUM
Love of his Mother
Love of Children
Amount of CUM in his typical Cumshot
The type of car/wheelchair he drives

8a) Describe to us the one fantasy that you still have sexually...it could be something you have not done, or something that you HAVE done but want to keep doing and you are always thinking about doing.

8b) Finally, what amount of money would it take for you to do 1 (one) balls to the wall porn scene? Assume that Gia is your agent and you WILL definitely get the amount of money you want. Gia can also direct and pick the male talent (but it cant be your Fiance)....come on, how much?

Thank you very much for playing Stoli, Chilled.

(taps on window)

Hello??? [tap tap] Random, Soopergrizz...anyone home??? [tap tap]

1a) Let's start off with something about Russian Chicks.....it is my considered opinion that Russia is home to some of the hottest women on the planet. To what would you attribute this, Stoli? Is it the cold preserving Russian women's beauty much as my freezer is currently preserving all kinds of MEAT for me to indulge in later? Or is it the lack of sunshine in Russia that protects women from the damage that most idiotic American women do to themselves by baking in the sun? Discuss.

First of all, let me state that CHRIST! This was long as fuck all.
Now to your answers: Well, my 90-year-old babuskha isn’t turning any heads these days, but back in her prime she was a hottie who wore fur and red lipstick everyday. (My grandfather-RIP- looked like Sinatra, so she had to keep up.) I would certainly attest that the Russian women I know take pride in their looks AND their brains equally, because they know that you rope a man in with your looks and keep him with your brains. We truly enjoy dressing up and looking good, it's cultural. I have no idea why American women refuse to accept this. You see, I think Russian women, for the most part, are more pragmatic and matter-of-fact than American women, less emotional (perhaps due to the lobotomizing cold) and they realize that being a nagging, lazy slob gets you nowhere. It’s a damn shame so many hot Russian guys are alcoholics.

1b) I know you said you are rather petite and svelte, and Gia has backed this up. But in my experience, Russian chicks consistently have some of the best, biggest boobs on earth. In escorting/sex-for-pay circles, just as "Greek" refers to anal sex, "Russian" refers to tit-fucking. Is there something in the typical Russian diet that might explain the fact that so many Russian chicks have awesome breasts? And do you at least have big enough boobs to tit-fuck your man's pulsating pistoning penis?

Hehe. I wear a medium-sized b-cup, and for an under 100-lb woman, I’d say that’s nicely proportional—and they’re symmetrical, so I won't complain even if they aren't large. Yes, I have enough breastage to tit-fuck my 6’4” guy and yes, I enjoy it. Ps-I think it’s the homemade keilbasa.

2a) You briefly touched upon your personal porn predilections in the thread about female porn viewing...but let us dig a little deeper. Have you ever rubbed one (or more) out to a porn scene? If so tell us about the scene in 'ass' much detail as possible (this is to test Dr. Burglar's theory that porn BURNS itself into your memory like nothing else, and people who cant remember what they just ate an hour ago CAN remember what a particular porn scene displayed if they watched it years ago.)

My favorite one-on-one is scissoring with two women. I love the men thoroughly, but for some reason, that particular position with two slender, young women gets me every time. I also REALLY get off to anything with a college theme because I love dirty, dirty frat boys and love the idea of being gang-banged by an entire fraternity.

2b) If you came home and found your man furiously pounding his engorged reproductive organ in a rapid up-and-down motion while watching a porn flick, what would do and how would you handle it? Do you consider that cheating? Would you angrily confront him, startling him to such an extent his pulsating penile appendage immediately goes to zero on the wood scale? Would you stay hidden and watch your man splooge all over himself? Would you join in and perhaps lovingly HELP him by offering your face as a jizz rag for his reproductive fluids? Also, in the event you decided to stay hidden and watch him, what if you saw that his splooge went flying and landed on an expensive pair of your shoes, or something else nice and tough to replace? Would you put that now-splooged upon item up for sale on e-bay?

It is absolutely NOT cheating, and it’s amazing how good a relationship can be when you’re both totally up front about masturbatory fantasies. I would be curious to see what he was watching. So, I’d probably watch for a minute and then come up behind him wearing my undies. I’d take that sock he’s jacking into and put it over his eyes and punish him while fucking him by not letting him watch anymore while I reverse cowgirl and enjoy the flick. If he came onto my shoes, ever, I'd kill him. I love my shoes.

3) Personal Chilled Stoli Info, Part 1:

- What is your favorite part of a Man's Body? Favorite part of a Woman's Body?

Man: lips on face, taut stomach on body
Woman: hair, taut stomach

- What is your favorite food? Favorite TV Show? Favorite non-porn Movie of all time?

Favorite Food: this is difficult, so I’ll say ethnicities: Indian and Japanese
TV Show: “The Golden Girls,” RIP Estelle Getty
Favorite Movie: “American Psycho,” "Cannibal Holocaust," "200 Cigarettes" Zeferelli's "Romeo and Juliet" (and recently, “In Bruges”)

- What is your favorite Musical Band/Group? Pet Shop Boys (I don’t give an eff if y’all laugh)

- Have you ever been to a Strip Club and if so, what is your favorite club? Yes, both male and female. Don’t have a favorite, but I like the way the girls look in Montreal clubs.

- What is your favorite amusement park ride? What is your favorite casino game? I like water parks b/c I’d live in a swimsuit if I could. I love blackjack because it’s easy, and still somewhat sophisticated.

- What is your favorite junk food? OMG, I love those Hot Tamale candies. Not big on junk food, though.

- Besides Ruski Standard, what is your favorite BOOZE to drink? Moet White Star and Calvados.

- Do you smoke pot or dabble in any other controlled substances? I smoke cigarettes (menthols-stay klassy!) sometimes, and I love the White Devil but try not ride her much.

4) Okay here is a SUPER technical PERV question that I feel comfortable posing to you because you are sharp, and because GIA is the only other person I would ask as being capable enough, and enough of a sophisticated whore to appreciate and answer. Feel free to consult with Baby G to come up with solution, but there is no steadfast right or wrong here. It is a test of many qialities......

First, consider the average guy who jerks off to porn. When he watches a scene and strokes, he is vicariously substituing himself and his excited penis into the scene he is watching. More often than not, guys will "TIME" their orgasm with the cumshot that takes place in a porn scene, imagining that it is THEIR jizz oozing into Gia Jordan's mouth, to reference an example ...... You with me so far Chilled Stoli?

Second, you recently claimed that you were unfamiliar with what "Cumfarting" involved....I assume you probably know by now what it is, but just in case, in a "nut"shell, Cumfarting involves the ROMANTIC practice of a man, or MEN, splooging inside a chick's ass and then everyone watching INTENSELY as the chick pushes out the wad of splooge for all to see...a farting sound often accompanies this sexual act. And more often than not, when the chick poops out the splooge, she accumulates it on a plate or in a glass and consumes it. Watch the Movie "DIRTPIPE MILK SHAKES Volume 1 thru 3" to see for yourself this act of love between men and women.

Now I, Da Burglar, jaded crippled pervert that I am, have never quite reconciled this practice with romance or even acceptable sexual practice...in particular, how the fuck do I jerk off to it? WHEN exactly do I time my own vicarious splooge to a scene like this? When the creeps are actually ejaculating into the porn chick's ass? When the splooge is coming OUT of her ass? OR...when she gobbles the poop-splooge down? Help me, please. HELP. HELP! HELLLP!! Ahhhhh! fuck AHHHHH!!!


I think you need some church. Perhaps Father Flanigan can tell you.

5) <3 xanax and a bowl of conrflakes later....> Ok Chilled Stoli, having covered the romantic act of cumfarting, let's ask YOU what you find romantic in general.

-- What is more romantic, a Candlelight Dinner followed by sex, or Breakfast in Bed after sex?

Dinner, but I’ll happily take either.

-- What is more romantic, a box of chocolates, or flowers?

Flowers, only b/c I hate chocolate.

-- A weekend in Vegas or Atlantic City, or a weekend in a cabin in the woods with NO electricity.

Vegas/AC because I LOVE wearing slinky sequined gowns and flitting about and I lost my virginity in the woods, so boo.

-- A guy who scored 740 Verbal on his SAT, or a guy with a 8 inch penis who likes to smack you in the cheeks and forehead with it?

740 Verbal. The best sex I ever had was my poetry professor.

-- What is more romantic, Valentines day, or a wedding anniversary?

Mmm. I love romance…..

-- What is more romantic: A Jumbotron message at a sporting event saying "Chilled Stoli Marry ME" or a wedding invitation you find spelled out with M&Ms on the kitchen floor when you wake up one morning after a night of Balls Deep Anal sex (but no cumfarting)?

The latter, because anyone who knows me knows I’d never be at a sporting event.

-- What is more romantic, your man Donkey Punching you as he shoots his load inside you and creampies your pussy, or your man holding your nose while he throat fucks you?

The latter, I like restricted breathing, and I don’t want to be hit, ever.


6a) What have you ever done in your life? Answer Da or Nyet.....

-- Sex in Public? DA

-- 2 or more guys at once? DA

-- Sex with 1 or more Girls? NYET

-- Swallow Cum? DA

-- Use a double-dip dildo (one that allows you to fuck both your pussy and ass at the same time)? And if you answered "da" to the 2 or more guys question, have you ever been Dp'd in real life? NYET to the dildo, DA to the DP, but NYET to the butt area.

-- Have you ever cheated on someone while you were in a relationship? if "da", did it feel better because you were sneaking and cheating?

DA, yes it felt amazing-to be perfectly honest-, but I wouldn’t recommend it. That’s all I’m saying about that.

6b) When did you first start masturbating? When did you first achieve a "BONERFIDE" real orgasm, and after acheiving a real orgasm, how often did you masturbate on average each day?

Good question! I was about 12 or so, and I stole my mom’s copy of the book “Clan of the Cave Bear”—there were about 4 or 5 sex scenes in that book and I hid it in the bathroom and the sex pages eventually fell out from wear. I gave myself real O’s about 3 times a week that way until I was 17 and then I got my first via my boyfriend when he dry-humped me during AP Chemistry studies. I’m not making this up.

6c) Describe how and when you lost your virginity (i.e. had a real penis piston your vagina)?

I was 17 (same dry hump guy) and we did it in the woods on the ground. Dave Matthews Band’s “Satellite” was playing in the CD player in his Ford. I was wearing a skirt and pantyhose and he couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t get it in, so he kept poking at my pantyhose. I finally stopped him so I could get them off. He was about 9 inches and it hurt but he was very sweet and he even cried a little. Snort. It was the night Princess Di died and my parents were up crying when I got home. Awkward.

7) Chilled stoli info part 2:

Rank the following things in importance for what you want and look for in a man (1 is MOST important, 2 second most important, 3....etc.):

Sense of Humor 3
Money 5
Intelligence 1
Size of his Cock 4
Looks 6
Honesty 2
Ability to Fix things 8
Ability to cook 7
The taste of his CUM 10
Love of his Mother 12
Love of Children 11
Amount of CUM in his typical Cumshot 13
The type of car/wheelchair he drives 9

8a) Describe to us the one fantasy that you still have sexually...it could be something you have not done, or something that you HAVE done but want to keep doing and you are always thinking about doing.

Honestly, I am just really into guys who think about and want sex with me all day long. When I want a man, I want him 24/7. I’m just really into one-on-one, I-need-you-right-now sex, and if that’s boring, oh well. Oh, and, I’ve always wanted to get in a time machine and do it at Studio 54 while high as a kite and listening to Sylvester.

8b) Finally, what amount of money would it take for you to do 1 (one) balls to the wall porn scene? Assume that Gia is your agent and you WILL definitely get the amount of money you want. Gia can also direct and pick the male talent (but it cant be your Fiance)....come on, how much?

About 1,250,000 rubles. (that’s roughly 60k, or a down payment on a home I really want in Georgetown).

Thank you very much for playing Stoli, Chilled.

Spasiba/Ne za chto!!

Wow .... here are my knee-jerk/wheelskid reactions to some of your responses.

-- Kielbasa?

-- Frat Games and banging the whole Delta House?

-- Husband jerks off into a sock?

-- Pet Shop Boys?

"Lets take a ride, and run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia
You cant hide, run with the dogs tonight
In suburbia"

-- Hot Tamales??

-- Menthol Stogies and White Devil?? Dabble with Heroin instead (but only dabble) ... heroin chic suits you I can tell. Would suit GJ too... Kate Moss was the only "Stick Chick" I ever wanted to plow my wheelchair into. FYI ... By White Devil I assume you mean Coke? So many nicknames for different drugs overlap.


-- Who the hell is "Father Flanigan?" So what am I supposed to do with this Hillary Scott Cumfarting clip that is looping over & over in my media player?


-- Fucked your Poetry Professor? :banana_Holly_Randall's_Overlapping_Fantasy:


__ "Da" on the DP but NOT in the Butt?????? So you were DPP'd??? Paging Dr. Kegel....


-- Dry Humping in AP Chemistry?? Here I thought I was rad trying to synthesize Fentanyl on weekends.

-- Losing your Virginity to a 9" Penis on the night Diana croaked?? I totally remember that night...I was in the Monte Carlo in Vegas, and it had only been open a year so their rules for bringing in Hookers, no matter how classy, were pretty tight. So I got out of my wheelchair, and allowed the lady to sit and I pushed her up to my room, no hassle or questions. After that I totally blacked out, BUT MANAGED TO DO HER ANYWAY...however, sadly, my penis is NOT 9 inches.

-- 60K to fuck on film?? Gia, there must be SOME producer you can sell this totally exclusive event ... sell it as a LIVE-cast PPV, I will assist with the marketing. CAOH/Windsock can be that nameless talent he always wanted to be that stands off to the side jerking and grinning. It would be a challenge to make a profit on this but easier than you think. Any company except vivid though.... And take her on a Go see to Holly while you are at it...


Holy crap!

This whore got a website? I'm not reading all that shit.

PS-Thanks, Da Burg, for taking the time to be so interested in me.

That's all fine and dandy, but I learned nothing about your fondness for wearing inappropriate swimsuits to public pools. Open up, baby, there has to be some hot stories regarding that horny hobby.

Babe, they mean a pic of you in said swimsuit. Not a pic of some model it.

Chilled, so the DP had no ass contact? I'm guessing the other hole penetrated was the mouth since I can't imagine anyone doing double vag on a Wednesday afternoon just for fun and no money. Or is there something you ain't telling us? DISH!!!

I need connections to get you a $60K scene rate. :dials Sex-Z Pictures: I think Hillary Scott tapped that gold mine already...Fuck it, babe. Let's go mainstream. Someone get Terry Richardson to shoot Chilled in a BBG creampie while being gag factored for Paris Vogue. EDGY! Put your ass in some Narciso Rodriguez and call it 'modeling.'

See, if we hyped it enough, had Holly do some totally smoking shoots with stoli, and then took Holly's pictures and touted on a website and through a guerilla marketing campaign that "The Goddess in these Pictures will be doing a LIVE PPV sex scene with 2 guys, which will be recorded and available for sale after broadcast for $xxx.xx plus shipping and handling. The scene will have both guys popping twice each, in her mouth and in her twat. A bonus pop will involve her feet but will not be broadcast live, only available on the DVD. This is the ONLY scene she will EVER do! You dont want to miss witnessing her ultimate moment of debauchery live, and then owning a piece of this girl's one and only public moment of degradation and the potential regret of a lifetime, all in the name of money and advanced sexuality. How can you NOT want to jerk off to that? Order NOW!"

BBG in Narciso Rodriguez and I'll pay YOU guys.

and that chick in the swimsuit IS me...you didn't know?