I love morning sex. You wake up ready to go with that morning missle, and your girl feels the exact same way. Before you know it, you're pounding the Posturpedic and waking up the neighbors. I know lots of women who also love morning sex.

Do you think the ADT lovebirds Staph and Drew so that any more?

I doubt it.

In reading that website recently, it strikes me that they consider themselves as the after-hours janitors around there. They don't get especially mad or overjoyed by anything anymore. I have come to suspect that something is wrong in their home life, and I attribute it to the lack of morning sex.

Imagine the scenario...

the sun begins to rise over the Atlantic coast in Maine. Steph and Drew are asleep in their California king-size bed, not touching each other...

[Drew]: (waking up groggy)...damn, what a long night of html coding...but hot damn! I've got a boner. I haven't come in weeks now. (nudges Steph) hey babe, you awake?

[Steph]: (rolls over) quit touching me. Did you do the html coding like I told you?

[D]: Yeah, babe, I was up until four in the morning. Hey...you wanna fool around a little bit?

[S]: Did you actually test the code? You know we do permit pictures on the site anymore. And no, I don't want to fool around with you. It's five in the morning. Go back to bed, damnit.

[D]: C'mon, babe. We haven't had sex in weeks. I just want to come in your pussy again, it's been so long...

[S]: Don't you know it's almost my period time? I don't want any blood to drip out on to these sheets, we paid $75 for them at the Land's End Factory Outlet.

[D]: But Steph, I can smell your aroma...aren't you turned on?

[S]: Hey, dipshit, that's a yeast infection.

[D]: Sorry, babe. It's been so long since we've been intimate. I love you, I want to give you my semen. All you do these days in sit on the phone and talk with that Bono-One poster. What does he have that I don't?

[S]: For one thing, he isn't rubbing his dick against my butt-crack every morning, thank you very much.

[D]: But Stephie, it just means that you turn me on. Can't you accept that?

[S]: What I can accept is another three hours sleep. Then I have to walk the wienerdog and get ready for my interview with Summer Haze. She's going to ber famous, you know? I want to be able to get in on the ground floor.

[D]: Fine, I'm going to go into the bathroom and jack off to that photo of you and Keri Sable. (angry) And I'll be thinking about Keri Sable the whole time (/angry).

Willie, I think you'll find it's Steph that gets the erection...

Quote:

---

[S]: Don't you know it's almost my period time? I don't want any blood to drip out on to these sheets, we paid $75 for them at the Land's End Factory Outlet.

---

ZOMG!! Well played, Willie.

Added because actually Drew is kinda hot. I just wanted to add that. No reason. Carry on. Don't mind me.

Hey now, sometimes I shop at the factory outlets. I'm not cheap, but, sometimes they have things I'm looking for that I can't find in a "normal" store.

Plus they are a great place to people watch. I love watching people that have planned a vacation around the outlet malls.

I wish I could find a clip of that quote from Kevin Spacey to Annette Benning in "American Beauty," as I'm almost positive it applies to Steph.

"When did you become so.....joyless?"

I picture them more like the couple in Best in Show where Parker Posey freaks out on her pussified husband. "BUSY BEE!!! WHERE IS HER GODDAMN BUSY BEE!!!" Only Staph wouldn't be as hot as Parker Posey and their dog would have a Denver Don voodoo doll chew toy.

I meant L.L. Bean, not Land's End. Land's End is in Wisconsin. My bad.

I get all my outdoor-type shit from REI anyway.

Pics please