I nearly puked at a club last Saturday night - but that was more to do with the quality of the dancers and other patrons than anything I drank.

It was a strange little club. Only about 3 or 4 girls in the place on a Saturday night. Behind the girl on stage doing polework there was a large plasma tv screen playing The Wizard of Oz. They weren't even playing Dark Side of the Moon or anything artsy to accompany it - just top 40 crap.

I spent 10 minutes explaining to this dancer that when the movie first came out, those flying monkeys were the scariest fuckers going around - the equivalent of Queen Aliens or Pandora Peaks. In a very dim light she half-resembled a tall, skinny, Sarah Michelle Gellar with an over-bite, and so I figured that I could probably summon up the interest to get a couple of dances from her before leaving.

I didn't stay long. Unfortunately, the ultra-hot, slutty, girls of Spearmint Rhino have forever ruined the whole low-rent, sleazy, strip club experience for me. I reckon that I am now only satisfied by dancers who feel like they are made of pure silk. I may have to try the Sapphire spewy sky box thing next time.