When I was a teen, VCRs were all the rage and Porn was riding the video cassette wave. Porn theaters were dying off, but a few joints clung to life. In a little town called Thompsonville next to the city of Enfield in Northern Connecticut was the Cinema Enfield. They used to advertise in the newspapers right at the bottom of the sports section everyday what movies they were showing. They ran classics starring Seka, as well as newer shit in 1984 and 1985 with Ginger Lynn and the dead Shauna grant.

One fine day in my senior year in High school, 5 of us decide to check out this place, which we affectionately renamed "Enema Cinefield"....The signs outside all said UNDER 21 NOT ADMITTED....I was atill 5 months from 18 yrs old, and my friends were all about the same. Not a problem...Burg was the designated underage buyer for all kinds of shit back then, mainly beer, but also Cigs for the sluts who appreciatively wheeled me around and gave the occassional handjob. The reason was simple: No one wanted to tell a crippled fuck "Sorry, cant sell you that." IF they asked for ID, I'd say "Duh, I cant drive dipshit." and if they didnt sell then, I'd at least have the satisfaction of saying that and making them feel bad.

So I wheel up to the ticket window to the porn theater and say "Five tickets please." Some guy that looked like Uncle Junior Soprano looks at me, scratches his chin and says..."Ok." Score!

We waltz in, and this HUGE movie screen has Shauna Grant on her back motionless like a dead fish getting plowed by some Hairy Fat Fuck NOT named Ron Jeremy. I was the only one of us sitting down cuz I brought my own seat obviously, but we all had the presence of mind not to sit down or touch anything, and this was 4 years PRE-Pee Wee Herman. I made a joke about having forgotten to put condoms on my wheels when off to our left we see it: two men, sitting next to each other, whacking off. Not touching each other, but choking their chickens like there is no tomorrow. We all are totally freaked out and leave shortly after, having spent a grand total of 15 minutes in this jerk off zone at 5 bucks each. To this day, whenever I am in a theater, I get the feeling some fucker is whacking off near me.

of course there also was the time during High school I almost got my eye put out in a theater at the Rocky Horror Picture Show by half of a flying hot dog along with a rice krispie treat someone's mom made with super glue instead of marshmallow. Scratched My cornea, had to wear a patch for a week, looked like Brain Fucking Surewood's clean cut brother.

I feel for ya, Burg. I mourn the loss of the drive-in where none of this would be an issue other than the non-driving part. (and, yes, there were a few that played hardcore)

Our town had an x-rated drive in until the last ten years or so. It got raided every election cycle but it was always there. I dated a girl that loved to watch fuck movies and we'd go out there and sometimes double-dated. It didn't stop pervs from trying to cruise up quietly in their car and park beside you and wank themselves, hoping to flash someone.

As to theaters- I hate them. Since jeri-curl and all those other nasty, greasy hair products I won't rest my head agains headrests in public places like theaters or airplanes.

Watching a movie sitting upright is uncomfortable.

when i went to see ironman, i found some bitch's weave on the seat, how cracktastic

Gigi, are you certain that wasn't some whore's pubic wig?

doubtful, it was bright wendy's red and black, in those gross curlicue twists. you could be right though, i'll check lori lust's website and see if i can find its rightful owner. maybe that bitch with the caulk gun.

I'd check that black chick, Pinky or whatever she's called. Sounds like her shade.

There used to be a porno theater in Phoenix near the airport. The lady who owned it literally lived down the street from Barry Goldwater. Ruben Sturmans' thugs trashed the place in the early 90s over some unpaid kickbacks, then firebombed that place in Chicago and all hell broke loose.

story.

In the 80's did they still play the movies off of a film projector or did they use one of those shitty 80's projection tv deals.