Received my first ever jury duty notice. I need out of this and law bores the shit out of me. I'm asking all you degenerates for advice since I'm the only ex-porn whore without lawyer friends.

Tell them you used to make porn movies. That will get you out of it because neither the plaintiff or the defendant wants anyone on the jury "of questionalbe moral quality". Just make sure they don't think your an ex-porn whore Lubbenite.

On a personal note I got out of jury duty when I compared it to being in school. I told them that my mind wandered during class which is why my grades were not very good and it would probably do the same during the trial. I also said that whoever spoke last would be most likely to get my vote as it would be freshest in my mind.

You should manifest a very eager desire to perform jury duty in front of the idiots that register you when you show up, and keep saying (and writing when they give you shit to fill out) "I can tell someone is guilty just by the way they LOOK and they dress or what shoes they wear!" You'll be out the door in 10 minutes....dont forget to ask for gas vouchers.

No way you should do jury duty!!! I've received about 4 letters to do jury duty but got out of all of them by saying I was going to be out of town due to work and they just accepted this excuse. However recently I went and watched a murder trial from my hometown and it was really interesting!

I got my first jury duty notice the other day too. I will try to get across my openly left wing political views and with luck they will reject me on those grounds.

Gia, just use one of AlexPanzer's cheap colognes and they won't want you anywhere near the courthouse!

Try and get your hands on a Charlie Manson T-Shirt, preferably one with the X/Swastika carved into his forehead.

Also, you can make like Paul Newman in The Sting and use copious amounts of Gin as perfume/mouthwash.

Add some temporary tats to complete the picture.

i got a jury summons in may and got out of it because i don't have anyone to watch my kids. my mother-in-law gets summoned every so often and just makes sure she doesn't get selected by acting crazy and saying things like, "if the cops arrested him, he's guilty! the cops are never wrong! just look at that guy! you can just tell he did it!", etc.

One guy at my workplace was selected for a murder trial that lasted 11 months which could be annoying. Yeah if you want out just make it look like you may be prejudiced, or you're some freaky person who they wouldn't be comfortable with making decisions

There really isnt a definite way to get out of it anymore, thing have changed emmencely, I never served cause my boss would get me out it. It was a one person office, so he used that excuse plus he knows people. If you dont have someone to do that for you, you just show up and be very predjudiced just like everyone says. I know it sucks. Sorry G.

It is almost impossible to get out of showing up the first day, but when you fill out your questionnaire you can torpedo your chances of being called by saying 1. You are a photographer for a pornography publication 2. A former photographer 3.Have had a close friend/relative injured/killed in a drunk driving incident 4. Have had a close friend/relative convicted of drunk driving and just for good measure you might mention your past appearances in the pornography, but I doubt that's necessary.

I think a defense lawyer wouldn't mind the photography gig but the prosecution will. The defense will hate the lost relative in the dui.

A couple of hours, you get your fuel voucher and your parking validated and you are back on your way. Under no circumstances fail to show up.

I am on the hook for calling into Jury Service this week. There are five bullets in that jury service gun. The first one fired last night and missed me. There are four more.

Twice before I had to go in, but only sat around the waiting room for half a day and was dismissed both times without even making it to voie dire. Under the LA county rules, you have one day / one trial. There are many steps before you are actually enpaneled. If I ever make it to voie dire, I was planning on using the strategy that Gigi mentioned about the cops being professionals and that the defense must prove their client is innocence more than the state must prove the defendant is guilty.

All the preceding advise on getting out of jury duty is good but not foolproof. No dismissal is automatic and no excuse is automatically valid for a dismissal.

I've been called 12 times in the last 25 years and actually served on 3 juries and one of those was while I was an active duty law enforcement officer. I have no idea why I wasn't dismissed from that one.

In Cali you must show up on the first day then call in after 7pm every day after that for a week to see if you have been empaneled. Pretty easy as far as public service goes.
If empaneled, rarely does it last longer then 2 weeks.

Jury service is your civic duty as an American. For most, it's the only opportunity to participate in the Judicial branch of government. You, along with your fellow jurors, have the ability to decide the fate of another human being. It's an awesome and sobering responsibility and should be taken seriously. Not as an annoyance to be avoided.

Ignoring a summons can and usually does result in a bench warrant. Which makes a nice surprise next time you get pulled over for a minor traffic infraction. I used to love cuffing soccer moms in front of their kids over this one. "Sorry son, but your mom has $10,000 in failure to appear notices."

Just do it. It's simple and easy and your duty as a citizen. Be a contributing member to society.

Tell them you routinely post on this site. That should do it.

Why is there still a jury involved? It doesn't look as if 'The People' are very interested to be a part of it? Just asking. We don't have juries over here.

Wear a burkha.

You have to show up on the day they call you. Then it is all about establishing conflicts. Once you are sent to a courtroom, they will tell you what the case involves. Then they will ask you to think about similar experiences you may have had. This is where you build your conflicts. With a little creative thought, you can easily come up with tales from your life that would make you look prejudiced.
They asked my mom if she had any thoughts about motorcycles, she said "Yes, they kill teenagers"
One girl in my group pulled an Allie Sheedy from Breakfast Club. She stood up with hair in her face and a black trench coat on(in santa monica) and said "I am going through a lot of intense personal problems now and am in therapy and can't even focus on my own life, much less someone else's"
My case involved a landlord/tennant dispute and I told them about a landlord I had who sold my building while I was away and I came home to find the locks changed and my stuff stolen.

The most important thing is NOT to say anything about being too busy or unable to serve. They jumped all over a girl in my group who said she couldn't arrange travel to and from court. Another started in about her work schedule and the judge snapped at her about penalties to employers and civil duties. They get pissed if you seem like you are not willing to serve. They have to reject you.

Mine was in Santa Monica and it was a nice day. I watched people squirm, had a 90 minute lunch break on the 3rd street promenade, sat in the back of the court and waited to be questioned about the landlord thing. Then I spun my tale and sat back down. I was eliminated in the second round.

You could also try carrying in your purse one of those small silver hip-flasks, filled with gin, and repeatedly taking swigs from it in a trying-to-be-surreptitious manner (whilst making sure that you are actually seen.)

They'd probably confiscate that at the metal detector/x-ray machine. If you're going to pull the drunky schtick, better to do the "Newman."

Tell them that you can determine a person's guilt from their bad vibrations and negative energy, and that the wheel of life ensures everyone gets their comeuppance in the end.

I always just say "I dont think the police would waste thier time arresting someone unless they were guilty of something. Right? So they must be guilty."
However I think that you should do your duty Gia, but do it wearing a "WHORES LIE" T-shirt to jury duty.

PHATBOY

If your initial attempts fail, befriend a little old lady on the jury and casually tell her about your performances in Anabolic's "A2M 8" and Heatwave's "Ass to Mouth 15". Be sure to give a full detailed description of the ATM genre, in case she didn't get the gist.

just start ranting about how no jews died in 9/11, you sort of look like a terrorist this should be easy

I always reschedule my jury duty for the week of Christmas. They don't seem to call anyone in for Christmas Eve or Christmas, so that knocks your odds down by 40% for getting called that work week. Of course, if you do get called to come in that week, it's really going to suck.

Yeah, but are the roads even open in Alaska during Christmas? That might have something to do with it, no?

just checking.

Be careful of what you say in court during session if you get to the jury selection part. What you say goes on public record, I think. Who knows what will show up in a Lexus/Nexus search. And if the judge is a hardass and thinks you are mocking him/her, the court, or trying to evade jury duty, he may hit you with a nice fine. Is there a lawyer in the forum who can elucidate what strategy to take?

^^^How about: "Don't be so fucking paranoid?"

You think Hatebreed rules and Napalm Death sucks. You should be forced to serve jury duty every week.

Everyone should do jury duty as long as their employers pay for it (as covered by law, but in actuality...some employers might frown on such a thing...that's a LAWSUIT...)

I've only sat in one one trial, and somehow appointed myself as jury foreman (I ORGANIZE).

It was a rinky-dink case of civil disobedience-there was a "Free Mumia" demonstration in Portland downtown, and the accused was targeted by the Police as "disturbing the peace", which was defined, in this trial, as entering the street and slowing down traffic.

The defense (under objection) posted pictures of the marchers fully contained on the sidewalk.

The prosecution could not provide any visual evidence of the marchers in the streets. They did posit two young policeman who said the marchers entered the street, but they were unconvincing, especially as the prosecutor led one of the cops to describe the "fear" that he saw in a motorist's eyes as their conveyance was delayed somewhat by a marcher.

I called for an immediate vote, and it was 5-1 (misdemeanor trials in OR only have a 6-person jury). It was late, so we would have to show up the next day, so I then told the jury about Mumia.

It wasn't brought up in the trial, so it was definitely a gray area; I remain confused as to what one can proffer in the jury room-my belief is, it should be ANYTHING based on every juror's experience and knowledge.

I recall telling the other 5 jurors, generally, that Mumia is a jailed cop killer who a lot of people believe is innocent, and therefor, marchers for Mumia piss off cops who have to watch them march.

The next morning, we took another vote, and it was 6-0 in favor of "Not Guilty."
---------------
See? On a small scale, that was fun, memorable, and a good excuse for taking a day (or more) off from work...

As long as your employer covers your absence, it is your duty as an American to proudly, and aggressively, serve on jury duty!

:banannaflagwaving:

Are you saying that no one on your jury knew who Mumia was?

Yes. No one in my jury knew who Mumia was, and it was not spelled out during the trial.

I thought it important to lay the groundwork, not to say that Mumia was innocent but rather to say that it was a heated issue.

During voir dire, one of the jurors was a 18-year old girl from Gresham who was sobbing and feared that she would lose her job at the Taco Bell. The judge firmly assured her that would be impossible, and if she did lose her job, to let him know so that he could appoint a lawyer for her lawsuit.

First: Fuck Mumia. Guy deserves to rot where he is.

Second: Jurors aren't supposed to consider issues not in evidence. It's grounds for a mistrial. (Although, OTOH, I don't really see why this was even brought to trial. I may not agree with the protesters, but everyone's got the right to make an ass of themselves in public.)

Third: Oh, yeah, FUCK Mumia.

Trust me, shit like this isn't going to come up on Lexis-Nexis. The only time a venireperson's comments show up at all is in the context of an Appellate decision, and I seriously doubt that anyone's going to appeal Gia's exclusion from a jury based upon the advice given above.

My jury duty notice said I had to call by today to see if I was on the list. I called. Then came a recording saying I was supposed to fill out the form mailed to me before making said phone call. Oh, well. If they ever come after me, I'll just blame it on apartment mailbox jumble.

Gia, you better rethink that. They will issue a warrant for you. Then, next time you get a traffic ticket WHAM! You will be sitting beside Brian Surewood in jail. There won;t be time to explain shitty apartment mail to the cop, he won't listen anyway. He'll say "You ride with me and explain that down at the station".

I'm not kidding.

Bornyo's absolutely right. Your best bet is to call the court and tell them you fucked up. They shouldn't hold it against you.

If a warrant was issued it's likely still there, although it's doubtful they'd do anything to you. But it does give you an excuse to get out of the house.

there is quite possibly a warrant out for me! this is strangely arousing.

There's a warrant out there from Judge Kerkove for you. Don't make him bang his gavel.