As hard as I try, I fail to find a pseudonym for you that is better or more apropo than Limp Willie. I would if I could and you wood if you could, too. You can't so you won't.

You are the human equivalent of linguini. You are the second testicle that hasn't dropped. To say you have ED is an insult to Bob Dole and millions of men with diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. WilliED...it's right in your name for fuck's sakes!!

You sit and stew in your own juices, literally, after jerking Limp Willie Junior to a flaccid finale. Do I care that you enjoy titles like Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy? No, I don't. Nor do I care that your obsession with STDs began when your own mother used to make you comb pubic lice out of her crotch. Can't see the forest because of the trees? Bullshit. You saw that untended garden as close as when you popped out of that flabby flesh fort. I'm sorry there was no light at the end of that terrible tunnel. There were only creepy crabs crawling on you much like the invisible ones that haunt you today due to your heroin addiction. Keep scratching and try to repress all your whoreifying childhood experiences, Mommie Dearest.

While Sasha Grey calls herself the fuck junkie, people who see you whisper under their breath, "Fuck! Junkie."

Your obsession with all things Iron is obvious. Like a petulant 2 year old, you throw your tantrums hoping for ANY attention. Sorry, Limp Noodle, I'm not going to pick you up anymore.