In defense of paperchase, there is nothing too low for him. He excels at being a dude who can't stand that he took his guidance counselor's praise for his typing speed seriously back in his senior year. He felt like he could have done something with his life but wound up a humdrum office worker bee buzzing around the water cooler in scuffed-up shoes and a stained clip-on tie. He wears galoshes on days when God shows his anger with him by making it rain....but only on him a la Wile E. Coyote or Charlie Brown. Tsk tsk, dude. You are a sad, sad 50-words-per-minute man.

Was throwing your life away worth those 3 boxes of Bic pens you stole from the supply room? Was it?? Why not put those pens to use and write me a fan letter? My address is: Cloud 9, Living the Dream City. Don't forget to include your zip code. I know it starts with 925__, the same benefit-less hours you work every day.....typing.....endlessly typing.....before you return home to your Section 8 housing and -- oddly enough -- type some more on this board.

No more pics, please. I already wished you the best with your gender reassignment surgery. While you take hormones, I'll be making whores moan.

Make sure to do up that Adam's apple-concealing top button, dude. Your co-workers are getting suspicious. Cheers.