paperchase: I can't even bring myself to capitalize your name. That would humanize you. Stop projecting your own insecurities on my whores. A woman offers her mouth and you want to see a green card. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. What turmoil you must be in to be at odds with the baser instincts of millions of men. Sir, you can come up with every excuse in the book NOT to get a blowjob but we both know there is nothing -- no way, no how -- you would ever touch a naked woman.

Many people are Monday morning quarterbacks but you've become a Monday through Sunday quarterback staring longingly at those tight pants, wishing you could have grass stains on your knees.

Green card???? GREEN CARD!!!! BAWWWWWW HAHHHH HAHHHH!!!!! Just shut the fuck up and fly your green, yellow, red, blue, and orange flag.

I'm still your friend, though, and wish you all the best now that you can choose to live in Massachusetts or California. You are finally, officially bi. Coastal.

Bye, bye, bi boy.