So i agree to have a profile done by a former whore-turned-dating agency-owner-expert-but-still-a-whore-for-a-select-few-fuckers-like-me....she doesnt even have a website yet but what the fuck, I am here to help so I let her test me....

I hate to admit it but she was kinda spot on in many areas. Here is my prospective soul mate's general outline.

She is between 40-50 yrs of age....Brunette, 5' 4", Brown eyes, toned body with modest sized breasts, professional career, financially independent, loves to travel and cooks. Sexually she is "advanced", willing to have sex in an elevator or out in a semi-public place like my gazebo out back that is visible to about 10 neighbors houses. So much for me marrying Holly, or even having Gigi Locked in my closet or paying Ceara to "tend my farm"...

Anyone know where I can find this woman?

Ohh enough with your Kerri Strug whack fantasies gimpy..
You're not coach Bela and this isn't Tianamen, square.

she was wrong... so wrong