Hype, yeah. Definitely.

And no pretense was needed, as it all went along, slowly, by itself.



For the hasty tweakers, here is a topic-specific excerpt about the Sasha Grey fan in old man river:


"old man river: oh my

Care Less: Keep going.

old man river: unsure how to proceed in all honesty

Care Less: Write about it.

old man river: an impulse, quickly suppressed

or repressed, never can remember the difference

would it be possible to change the subject?

Care Less: That is what I would have suggested next.

old man river: i am uncomfortable with my thoughts at the moment

Care Less: Why? Are they too private to mention?

old man river: not necessarily

Care Less: Then go ahead.

old man river: but they place me with those i disassociate from

i am wondering about your true nature

and your identity

I would rather not

Care Less: Why?

old man river: it places me in a categorizable position

and you in clear power

Care Less: How would that work?

old man river: you have what I want

and I have no way of taking it from you

Care Less: What is it you want?

old man river: good question

the simple and superficial answer is your identity

but that is not exactly the truth

in that my interest is predicated on the possibility that you could be sasha grey

if you are someone else, someone obscure, or even a 77 yo man, your identity is meaningless to me

or at least carries much less significance

and that makes me a fanboy or is it fanboi or whatever the term may be

more importantly, it makes me one of them

one who is possibly subject to your trolling

and thus in a position of weakness

Care Less: Strange. What would you think if I in fact were Sasha Grey?

old man river: i would not think, that is the problem

Care Less: Do you desire her? Is that too personal a question to ask?

old man river: i am afraid that my answer would be yes, I am afraid of my answer actually

Care Less: Why?

old man river: i prefer to be in control of myself, of my feelings to a large extent

i prefer not to cede this to others as I have to you somewhat

Care Less: While I do not know the validity of the following, I will make an assumption: You seem to have some affection towards Sasha Grey, as she is sexually desirable for you and you seem to be uncomfortable with this. Trust your drive.

old man river: your assumption is valid

Care Less: So when asking yourself why you are afraid that this is he case, what comes to mind besides the topic of control?

old man river: control in two areas. the first being me relative to you. the second being within myself. That is, maintaining some semblance of control over my impulses/urges

it is the latter that frightens me more

you are somewhere else, communicating via wires. I am here with myself, there is no possiblity of avoidance

Care Less: Understandable. If you desire a young woman, then this seems all right to me. What about you?

old man river: i concur

Care Less: Then you should not be afraid of anything.

old man river: You are right, I should not. But I am ...

Care Less: Strange obscurity?

old man river: I don't know if your message was truncated or not

strange obscurity is all I see

Care Less: That is all I wrote.

old man river: what do you mean by that

Care Less: The paradox of your being confident and afraid simultaneously, not knowing the cause and trying to motivate you to clarify in order to understand better.

old man river: i am confident?

just noticing that I am not using upper case as much

Care Less: Confident with desiring a young woman sexually.

old man river: Christ you cut to the bone

There are several factors behind this

I would rather not get into them at this time

Care Less: Understandable. I did not intend to be too curious and wanted to be concise and specific.

old man river: No need to apologize for curiousity, I am more than happy to discuss it when my nerves settle

Care Less: You are still nervous then?

old man river: yes

I would like to know

Care Less: What would you like to know?

old man river: Your earlier implication was that you are Sasha Grey...

Care Less: You would like to know whether I am her?

old man river: yes

Care Less: What do you think?

old man river: I believe so

Care Less: Why?

old man river: You implied this earlier

Care Less: You wrote that that would put you into the same corner as the denying XPT fanbase.

old man river: that is correct, which is why I stated that i was uncomfortable with my thoughts at the moment

but they are there

and in acknowledging them, recognized a painful truth about myself

Care Less: Further above, you stated your lack of insider status regarding the male mind. Does that painful truth might have anything to do with that or even derive from ther? Curious and nosy I am.

old man river: I'm sorry, I meant lack of insider status regarding the industry. The male mind I am familiar with. Curious and nosy you are

Care Less: Indeed.

old man river: I am curious and nosy myself

and awaiting an answer

Care Less: What is it you would ask Sasha Grey if I was her?

old man river: I would ask why she is so evasive when asked questions about her identity

Care Less: Maybe she would point out your being curious and nosy.

old man river: but that has already been acknowledged ...

Care Less: And you would like to know for sure now, once and for all, I presume. But what would it change in this chat, considering if I was her I possibly would just make something up, maintaining a personal life that is private and apart from the screen name, the industry?

old man river: I am aware of that possibility.

Care Less: And still awaiting an answer?

old man river: yes

Care Less: I am not her.

old man river: I will take you at your word

Care Less: You should."