Dudes, relax. It's just a girl. Whereas my grandfather would have dipped her pigtails (if she had any) in the ink well at school to tease her, you guys can stay safe from any and all actual contact. Get back in line for Indiana Jones as you spend your quality time role-playing. Hey! You have that badass black Nazi outfit for your crazy Castro nights so why not get some mileage out of it and be the evil face-melting Nazi for the premiere?
Fuck girls! They are icky and have cooties. (Hehehe....I said fuck and girls in the same sentence.) There are more important things. For example: Will justice be done to the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles? Will Shia LeBeouf be as dreamy as he was in Transformers? Will medical science allow you to become the transgender you've always wanted to be? Talk about transforming! Ewwww!! You could be Optimus Prime Beefcake....oh no you didn't!! Snap!!
Get that crystal skull, Indy Junior! Get it!!! Like Indiana Jones, you are a take-no-guff adventurer. You are full of derring-do but..........then...........you............don't. So much wasted potential.
Don't worry! I hear the next Star Wars is going to kick ass so you can get back in line as soon as you get out of Harrison Ford's latest adventure.
Don't forget to wear your fedora! And this time, come out of the closet and admit what you want to do with young Willie.