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The guy who was deposed by the Grand Vizier emails that the fragile flower we know as Kelly Wells has been committed to an unnamed mental institution under Section 5150 of the California's Welfare and Institutions Code after castrating a 30-year old warehouse worker she had sodomized with a baseball bat.

The police were alerted after neighbors of the man reported screaming and a barking dog covered in blood with a penis in its mouth The man is recovering in a local hospital.

The LA Sheriff's Office made a fruitless search for the penis which appears to have been swallowed or buried by the dog. The dog, which belongs to a neighbor, is being held pending a decision on whether to search his digestive tract for remains of the amputated member. Tests have already been completed in an effort to confirm or allay suspicions that Kelly may have had sex with the dog. Results were not forthcoming.


This attack appears to be drug related, though Ms. Wells has vehemently denied such use in the past.

It appears that the victim retrieved some equipment Kelly's dealer used to manufacture Methamphetamine as his personal property. The item seems to have been exchanged at a recent garage sale but was never paid for. It is not clear if the victim was involved in the drug's manufacture or sale. But, without this piece of equipment the dealer was unable to continue manufacture.

Kelly arrived at the dealer's house about an hour before the incident. Police report that when the drug dealer was unable to provide Kelly with the drugs she was expecting, she went off.

The dealer, who was prepared for Kelly's reaction, had barricaded himself in his home and blamed the lack of drugs on the neighbor. Kelly went to the car she arrived in, retrieved a baseball bat from her belongings and charged straight into the victim's house.

The ownership of the vehicle was unclear. The black SUV may have been "borrowed from a friend."

The medical staff at the unnamed mental facility [Metropolitan State Hospital] is having issues restraining Kelly as this only seems to arouse her and the cleaning staff has contacted their union to protest the constant need to clean puddles of her vaginal secretions.


A man calling himself "Kelly Wells Rocks" appeared stunned when I contacted him. He reflected on the Kelly he knew:

"Kelly is a smart, sweet, quiet and nice girl. She just has sex on screen as an actress. It makes her money. She seems to me to be responsible, stable, punctual and professional. And yeah, I'd love her, I'd marry her, I'd impregnate her and introduce her to the folks." This was overheard by a hospital doctor, and he was taken into custody, also under 5150.

Kelly who is known for porn specialties such as gaping her anus and swallowing large quantities of semen, turned 24 years old today. She apparently was picking up the drugs for her birthday celebration.

When captured by the authorities Kelly was heard to say: "I'm crazy as hell, and I will hurt you if you don't fuck me right. ... Come on everybody, why don't we all get around a campfire, have a couple of drinks and smoke a few cocks together?! Can I get a light, anybody?? Anybody?"

The director of the hospital, Sharon Smith Nevins, spoke off-the-record and told me that this statement will be used against Kelly when and if a 5250 hearing is held.

I contacted Kelly's listed legal representative to get Kelly's side and s/he wrote back:

"if the slander and misused words are postd on the internets we will persuit to press charges (ceased and disist). if it'is posted you have 10 days to take this off the web. are you tyring to FUCK wit me. cause i'll fuck you up MOTHREFUCKR!!! --- the lawyers of cherish and cali marie"

A charity has been set up to aid her victim in completing the sex change operation Kelly started. His name has been withheld until he choose a new girl's name.

Felon pornographer Donny Long, who was dressed in his SA stormtropper uniform with swastika, has been seen at his/her bedside and blamed porn legend Christian XXX for the attack.

When informed Christian was in the lobby, he urinated through his dirty ripped jeans and began to weep.

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