Why would a man as frugal as Alex Panzer use "body wash" at all? Why not a bar of soap? Body wash is just watered-down soap with more noxious fragrance. Are you into the fragrance, Alex? The Axe Effect and all the mad poonanny that comes with it?

Did you know you can use the cat litter to absorb oil in your hair on days when you can't shower (for example, if the water department cuts you off for nonpayment)? I learned that while trapped in a shared hospital room with some homo who loved those women's chat shows. Don't just pitch it out!