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#544692 - 02/21/12 04:35 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Bornyo]
Uncle Joe Offline
Tranny Whisperer
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/02/03
Posts: 9221
Slice of pizza with sliced weeners, onions and peppers for $2.00 at 2 Bros Pizza. The Mexican did not understand "weeners" so I said "with hot dogs"





Attachments
With Weeners.JPG (308 downloads)
2bros.jpg (305 downloads)


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#544707 - 02/21/12 05:44 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Jigaloo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 7863
It's wieners you moron.
_________________________

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#544709 - 02/21/12 05:47 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
Roasted Seaweed Snack from Trader Joe's. $1
Aztec Secrets Indian Healing Clay mask. $6.84 BEST skincare product EVERRRR!!!!!

http://www.amazon.com/Aztec-Secret-Indian-Healing-Clay/dp/B0014P8L9W

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#544719 - 02/21/12 06:25 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
I bought a rolling machine, some "tubes" and a bag of tobacco today.

I gotta quit this devil's habit of smoking that I backslid into, and there's no better way I can think of than going through the hassle of rolling my own for a little while. I'll write more about this device after I've used it some.

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#544720 - 02/21/12 06:28 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Are you in one of the Carolinas?? Smokes are what $25-30 a carton there?? Live it up. Them shits are like $14 a pack in NYC.

If I could quit Driving, Coffee and Beer, I could maybe quit smoking.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#544722 - 02/21/12 06:50 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
J.B.
Unregistered


Its been a good six months since I've had a cig.

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#544739 - 02/21/12 08:05 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Bornyo]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
I bought a rolling machine, some "tubes" and a bag of tobacco today.

I gotta quit this devil's habit of smoking that I backslid into, and there's no better way I can think of than going through the hassle of rolling my own for a little while. I'll write more about this device after I've used it some.


Try the Ethings. People seem to like those. Or a cigar. Or a pipe. You can get cheap ones on eBay and get tasty tobaccos from Cornell Deiohl. I think. Cornell something.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#544748 - 02/21/12 08:21 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
JasonH Offline
Gay For Pay

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 954
Two fuel injectors and an automatic transmission filter.
_________________________
Why do you black guys like to ruin white girls? I guess for the same reason you like to ruin white neighborhoods. -NitneLiun

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#544858 - 02/23/12 02:36 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: JasonH]
Uncle Joe Offline
Tranny Whisperer
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/02/03
Posts: 9221
Today I was extra hungry so I bought 2 slices of pizza at only $2.00 each: first slice with ham pieces and pine-apple and second slice with meatballs, onions and peppers:





Attachments
Meatball and Vegetables.JPG (221 downloads)
Ham & Pineapple.JPG (223 downloads)


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#544905 - 02/23/12 11:06 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
Holy fuckin' shit!!!! BALKANIKA is the shit!!!! I had the most amazing 2nd lunch. Yes, I was so hungry I had 2 lunches today. I took the A from Harlem and joined my bf at Balkanika in Hell's Kitchen.

Had the huuuugest garden salad with red wine vinegar for $5, and 4 item for $10 sample plate where I chose Pignolia beet, Albanian peppers, artichoke spread, and dolmas. Also had the $5 carrot basil soup. And it's down the street from my favorite Thai restaurant called Viv. And Amish Market.

http://balkanikany.com/?page_id=24

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#544910 - 02/23/12 11:33 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
tattypatty Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 7599
Loc: a site known for its tolerance...
A really really nice army field jacket that sadly does not fit. It's huge. Internet medium can be so small it wouldn't fit a midget all the way up to me looking like I an a kid with progeria.
_________________________
"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock

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#544921 - 02/24/12 07:17 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Bornyo]
fartz Offline
Registered Sex Offender

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2330
Loc: Central US
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
Originally Posted By: fartz
I know. I wish I lived in a real house and not an apartment. I could actually do one up.


Fartz you could try one of those new infrared/indirect cookers. I think some of them are even electric. I've had turkey cooked in them and I swear it was every bit as good as deep fried without having to buy 30.00 worth of peanut oil.

Here's an electric one by Char Broil. http://www.charbroil.com/ProductInfo/54-95-2234/The-Big-Easy-2in1-Electric-Smoker--Roaster.aspx


Thanks Bornyo. Turkey's a tough one. There's no middle ground. It comes out tender and fantastic, or dry and shitty. I've been trying to master oven-roasted Turkey for years, and a 24 hour salt/sugar brine has produced the best results. The biggest problem I come across is infusing flavor. Some fresh herb bouquets and lemon wedges in the brine helps, but only leaves an essence, and nothing close to a bold flavor. Stuffing the cavity goes a long way in flavoring the dark meat, but it stops there.

On a side note, I grabbed a quick smoke after I clicked that link, and when I came back in, there was a live window up with a charbroil associate asking me if I needed assistance. I resisted the urge to ask for a free one.

Panzer-
Where can I get one of these cheap.

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#544922 - 02/24/12 07:22 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Bornyo]
fartz Offline
Registered Sex Offender

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2330
Loc: Central US
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
I bought a rolling machine, some "tubes" and a bag of tobacco today.

I gotta quit this devil's habit of smoking that I backslid into, and there's no better way I can think of than going through the hassle of rolling my own for a little while. I'll write more about this device after I've used it some.


Sorry for the double post, but I like quickquotes and needed a quote from two seperate pages.

I tried this once, Bornyo, and it completey backfired, as I found out I really, really, like the taste of hand-rolled Tobacco.

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#544923 - 02/24/12 09:09 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
JasonH Offline
Gay For Pay

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 954
13" MacBook Pro. I pulled a Panzer and showed my 14 year old student ID from college to get a $100 discount from the Apple store. I'll carry it as long as I can if I get a real discount each time I go in the place.
_________________________
Why do you black guys like to ruin white girls? I guess for the same reason you like to ruin white neighborhoods. -NitneLiun

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#544934 - 02/24/12 11:24 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: JasonH]
Uncle Joe Offline
Tranny Whisperer
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/02/03
Posts: 9221
Originally Posted By: JasonH
13" MacBook Pro. I pulled a Panzer and showed my 14 year old student ID from college to get a $100 discount from the Apple store. I'll carry it as long as I can if I get a real discount each time I go in the place.

Keep those discounts comin'!

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#544937 - 02/24/12 11:39 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: fartz]
Uncle Joe Offline
Tranny Whisperer
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/02/03
Posts: 9221
Originally Posted By: fartz
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
Originally Posted By: fartz
I know. I wish I lived in a real house and not an apartment. I could actually do one up.


Fartz you could try one of those new infrared/indirect cookers. I think some of them are even electric. I've had turkey cooked in them and I swear it was every bit as good as deep fried without having to buy 30.00 worth of peanut oil.

Here's an electric one by Char Broil. http://www.charbroil.com/ProductInfo/54-95-2234/The-Big-Easy-2in1-Electric-Smoker--Roaster.aspx


Thanks Bornyo. Turkey's a tough one. There's no middle ground. It comes out tender and fantastic, or dry and shitty. I've been trying to master oven-roasted Turkey for years, and a 24 hour salt/sugar brine has produced the best results. The biggest problem I come across is infusing flavor. Some fresh herb bouquets and lemon wedges in the brine helps, but only leaves an essence, and nothing close to a bold flavor. Stuffing the cavity goes a long way in flavoring the dark meat, but it stops there.

On a side note, I grabbed a quick smoke after I clicked that link, and when I came back in, there was a live window up with a charbroil associate asking me if I needed assistance. I resisted the urge to ask for a free one.

Panzer-
Where can I get one of these cheap.

No idea, not an expert on smokers. I would try Amazon 1st and then try to see if any other places can offer cheaper prices online. Don't forget to check FatWallet for some FatCash.

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#544957 - 02/24/12 05:42 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: fartz]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Originally Posted By: fartz

I tried this once, Bornyo, and it completey backfired, as I found out I really, really, like the taste of hand-rolled Tobacco.


I've got to find a good shop from which to buy tobacco. The place I bought the gear...that kid could have told me all I wanted to know about smoking anything but tobacco. The second shop I tried I came upon by chance in a rough part of Charlotte, NC. I walked in on 5 dudes sitting in the back smoking room having a big time smoking cigars and playing cards. They were really having fun until I walked in. The dude laid down his hand and everyone watched while he rushed me through my selection, with no helpful advice or input, and before I got out the door he was back at his seat and the betting began. I'm sure they looked at his cards while he was weighing the tobacco for me.

Long story short, I'm not enjoying these home-made too much so far but I'm figuring out the intricacies of the process.

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#544958 - 02/24/12 06:11 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: fartz]
Steezo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
Originally Posted By: fartz
Turkey's a tough one. There's no middle ground. It comes out tender and fantastic, or dry and shitty. I've been trying to master oven-roasted Turkey for years, and a 24 hour salt/sugar brine has produced the best results. The biggest problem I come across is infusing flavor. Some fresh herb bouquets and lemon wedges in the brine helps, but only leaves an essence, and nothing close to a bold flavor. Stuffing the cavity goes a long way in flavoring the dark meat, but it stops there.


Pretty much no matter what I do, turkey tastes like turkey. Brining is supposed to add flavor, but to me it just makes the turkey moist and gives you some margin for error as far as overcooking it a bit without it drying out. In any case, I haven't messed one up in years and I've been told that I'm required to cook Thanksgiving turkey from now on.

I generally brine the turkey overnight for 8-12 hours, then take it out of the brine and let it air dry uncovered in the fridge for 8-12 hours until it's time to cook it. I use a ceramic egg-style cooker and cook my turkey at about 325° with some wood chips thrown on for flavor. For turkey, I'll use a mix of pecan & either apple or cherry wood chips. I'll stuff the cavity with quartered apples, onions & pears, plus one of those herb bags and some garlic cloves. I'll loosed the skin of the breast and stuff some herb butter all under the skin, as well as all over the outside of the bird. After it's been cooking for a little while, I'll baste it with butter every half an hour until it's done. If I want the skin crispy, I'll heat my indoor oven to about 450°, take the turkey off a little early and then finish it in the oven for the last 20-30 minutes.



Attachments
turkey 2.jpg (287 downloads)


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#544969 - 02/24/12 07:56 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I've never done a bad turkey. I've never brined or smoked one. But done various injections...garlic butter, Yoshido teriyaki. I went through a phase of using oranges rather than stuffing. Keeps the bird moist and gives a nice citrus blast of flavor. My ex, being a moron, thought you could use grapefruit instead of oranges. Terrible. Sour and gross. Of course it was my fault.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#544973 - 02/24/12 08:06 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
tattypatty Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 7599
Loc: a site known for its tolerance...
Ticket to Michael Shermer lecture and his new book, which he was nice enough to sign. And a toque that says "Homeopathy: there's nothing in it" , which will be excellent troll juice for the retard hppies/sters that populate my life.
I think 70 per cent of the audience had at least Asperger's, but i met some nice folks who invited me to the next CFI meet up. NERDS!
_________________________
"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock

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#545015 - 02/25/12 06:55 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Steezo]
fartz Offline
Registered Sex Offender

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2330
Loc: Central US
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
Originally Posted By: fartz

I tried this once, Bornyo, and it completey backfired, as I found out I really, really, like the taste of hand-rolled Tobacco.


I've got to find a good shop from which to buy tobacco. The place I bought the gear...that kid could have told me all I wanted to know about smoking anything but tobacco. The second shop I tried I came upon by chance in a rough part of Charlotte, NC. I walked in on 5 dudes sitting in the back smoking room having a big time smoking cigars and playing cards. They were really having fun until I walked in. The dude laid down his hand and everyone watched while he rushed me through my selection, with no helpful advice or input, and before I got out the door he was back at his seat and the betting began. I'm sure they looked at his cards while he was weighing the tobacco for me.

Long story short, I'm not enjoying these home-made too much so far but I'm figuring out the intricacies of the process.


Was that a headshop? I've been in that exact same scenario, except substitue the card table for an Xbox. I hate when I feel like I'm interupting something important to give people business.

Originally Posted By: Steezo
Originally Posted By: fartz
Turkey's a tough one. There's no middle ground. It comes out tender and fantastic, or dry and shitty. I've been trying to master oven-roasted Turkey for years, and a 24 hour salt/sugar brine has produced the best results. The biggest problem I come across is infusing flavor. Some fresh herb bouquets and lemon wedges in the brine helps, but only leaves an essence, and nothing close to a bold flavor. Stuffing the cavity goes a long way in flavoring the dark meat, but it stops there.


Pretty much no matter what I do, turkey tastes like turkey. Brining is supposed to add flavor, but to me it just makes the turkey moist and gives you some margin for error as far as overcooking it a bit without it drying out. In any case, I haven't messed one up in years and I've been told that I'm required to cook Thanksgiving turkey from now on.

I generally brine the turkey overnight for 8-12 hours, then take it out of the brine and let it air dry uncovered in the fridge for 8-12 hours until it's time to cook it. I use a ceramic egg-style cooker and cook my turkey at about 325° with some wood chips thrown on for flavor. For turkey, I'll use a mix of pecan & either apple or cherry wood chips. I'll stuff the cavity with quartered apples, onions & pears, plus one of those herb bags and some garlic cloves. I'll loosed the skin of the breast and stuff some herb butter all under the skin, as well as all over the outside of the bird. After it's been cooking for a little while, I'll baste it with butter every half an hour until it's done. If I want the skin crispy, I'll heat my indoor oven to about 450°, take the turkey off a little early and then finish it in the oven for the last 20-30 minutes.



That looks incredible Steezo.


Edited by fartz (02/25/12 06:56 AM)

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#545070 - 02/25/12 12:16 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Bornyo]
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
Originally Posted By: fartz

I tried this once, Bornyo, and it completey backfired, as I found out I really, really, like the taste of hand-rolled Tobacco.


I've got to find a good shop from which to buy tobacco. The place I bought the gear...that kid could have told me all I wanted to know about smoking anything but tobacco. The second shop I tried I came upon by chance in a rough part of Charlotte, NC. I walked in on 5 dudes sitting in the back smoking room having a big time smoking cigars and playing cards. They were really having fun until I walked in. The dude laid down his hand and everyone watched while he rushed me through my selection, with no helpful advice or input, and before I got out the door he was back at his seat and the betting began. I'm sure they looked at his cards while he was weighing the tobacco for me.

Long story short, I'm not enjoying these home-made too much so far but I'm figuring out the intricacies of the process.


This made me curious. I did some google searches and came across some posts with people talking about "Dual purpose Pipe tobacco". From what I saw the posters were saying they roll their own cigarettes and buy tobacco online. The dual purpose pipe tobacco is marketed and sold that way because it gets them around laws shipping cigarettes interstate and around stiff taxes. I don't know how true it is and I'm not a ciggie smoker but the several posts I saw about this everyone was very happy with their machine rolled dual purpose pipe tobacco cigarettes.

http://www.rollyourown.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=225
_________________________
Fap, Fap, Fap

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#545083 - 02/25/12 01:25 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Fiend]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Originally Posted By: Fiend

This made me curious. I did some google searches and came across some posts with people talking about "Dual purpose Pipe tobacco". From what I saw the posters were saying they roll their own cigarettes and buy tobacco online. The dual purpose pipe tobacco is marketed and sold that way because it gets them around laws shipping cigarettes interstate and around stiff taxes. I don't know how true it is and I'm not a ciggie smoker but the several posts I saw about this everyone was very happy with their machine rolled dual purpose pipe tobacco cigarettes.

http://www.rollyourown.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=225


This is what I'm using. What I wasn't told, though, is that the dual purpose tobacco is too moist to make cigs right out of the bag. You have to lay some out to "roll" for 20 or 30 minutes, sometimes under a lamp, to dry it out enough to make a good cigarette. I learned that from the forum you posted. If I find a decent shop I'm sure it will be like brewing your own beer and having a good brewstore. You go in, say "I want to make something like Guiness Stout" and they sell you the ingredients. A good tobacco shop will help you replicate Camels or Dunhills or, God forbid, Marlboro Light 100's.

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#545105 - 02/25/12 04:31 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I love the spirit of someone who would come up with something so simple to get around stupid ass rules. Gotta love the American business mind.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#545111 - 02/25/12 05:10 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
I'd hit the phone book and make phone inquiries if you aren't ready to order via the net. Look for tobacco/smoke shops first as the general catch all and then look for Cigar stores which might have a section of their store for other tobacco products. I'd avoid straight up head shops because they just use tobacco as a cover for selling drug paraphernalia and even if they have some loose tobacco its probably as old as the store. Head shops are easy to spot becasue they usually make it a point to say they sell alternative smoking accessories.
_________________________
Fap, Fap, Fap

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#545119 - 02/25/12 07:13 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Fiend]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Originally Posted By: Fiend
I'd avoid straight up head shops because they just use tobacco as a cover for selling drug paraphernalia and even if they have some loose tobacco its probably as old as the store. Head shops are easy to spot becasue they usually make it a point to say they sell alternative smoking accessories.


You're just a goddamn liar. Shocked, I say shocked, am I that head shops sell drug paraphernalia (<is that seriously how it's spelled?). Lies. Vicious ones. Scandalous.

That said, yeah, a real tobacconist is the way to go. They can help you come up with a blend that tastes close to what your preference is.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#545122 - 02/25/12 07:43 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
backdoorman Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
Mobile charger for my Galaxy Nexus cell.
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !

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#545552 - 02/29/12 08:16 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
backdoorman Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
Kindle fire , graphite case and warranty.
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !

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#545555 - 02/29/12 08:45 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
You get it more for reading or tablet PC purposes?
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#545556 - 02/29/12 09:08 AM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: backdoorman]
nassim Offline
Bukkake Boy

Registered: 04/18/11
Posts: 720
Originally Posted By: backdoorman
Kindle fire , graphite case and warranty.


I love mine. It executes both functions - tablet & reader -option well.
_________________________
I think she's hot, hot, hot and that gives her vagina tattoo bonus points. The cat-nose-and-whiskers, though, makes me wonder. That doesn't seem like a smart tattoo at all.

-- Rear Admiral

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#545573 - 02/29/12 04:14 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Jerkules]
backdoorman Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
Originally Posted By: Jerkules
You get it more for reading or tablet PC purposes?

More so for tablet but both really.
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !

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#545659 - 03/01/12 05:12 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
I think I may buy another boat tomorrow. I need a tougher creek and bay boat and found a good one at a good price.

The only sticking point here is I have to either hide it, or fit it under the tarp along with my other creek boat. My wife is not going to approve so I have to sneak this one in until I find a buyer for the other one. She will logically say "if you want another boat you should sell the other one first" but that logic doesn't apply to men when it comes to boats. It's really not a major purchase but in this State these things must be titled and registered and taxed so it makes them a little more official in a wives eyes.

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#545667 - 03/01/12 05:44 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Bornyo]
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
Originally Posted By: Bornyo
I think I may buy another boat tomorrow. I need a tougher creek and bay boat and found a good one at a good price.

The only sticking point here is I have to either hide it, or fit it under the tarp along with my other creek boat. My wife is not going to approve so I have to sneak this one in until I find a buyer for the other one. She will logically say "if you want another boat you should sell the other one first" but that logic doesn't apply to men when it comes to boats. It's really not a major purchase but in this State these things must be titled and registered and taxed so it makes them a little more official in a wives eyes.


If you hadn't bought her that gun and got yourself neutered would you still be sneaking around hiding your boats? Just tell her you bought the boat for her as a surprise but the seller wouldn't put it in her name without her present and you didn't want to ruin the surprise then sell the other boat and buy her a box of vibrators, dildos and a new apron.
_________________________
Fap, Fap, Fap

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#545668 - 03/01/12 05:54 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Damn!!! You are all over this. Good ideas.

With our bigger boat, I named it after her and that worked. She was royally pissed that I took a son and excluded the daughter from the test run/purchase trip. A man has to do what he has to do, and one of those things is buy boats.

Edit: BTW- the neutering thing has worked out fabulously. She comes after that thing with absolutely no fear anymore. Before she was afraid the pre-cum would make another son.


Edited by Bornyo (03/01/12 05:56 PM)

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#545671 - 03/01/12 06:04 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
Did you get your sperm count checked independently from the guy who snipped you? Call me paranoid but I'd have little trust in a man or woman who sterilized men for a living.
_________________________
Fap, Fap, Fap

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#545674 - 03/01/12 06:27 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Haha, I hear he also dilates womens urethras and other urologist stuff and only spays and neuters on fridays. I have a microscope, I suppose I could check myself.

When I was in there for a pre-op consultation they handed me a big cup and sent me into a bathroom for a specimen. It wasn't until I closed the door that I wondered what kind of specimen they wanted because they sure didn't specify. I pissed in the cup and passed it through the window with some trepidation, and by luck it turned out that's what they wanted.

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#545675 - 03/01/12 06:49 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
When I would get sent for drug tests for my employers I always overfilled the cup to the brim so when I handed it back to the piss police they would spill some. They always complained about me over filling the cup and I told them if they didn't like it they shouldn't have become a urine nazi. I would remind them to smell the sample to make sure it wasn't adulterated with bleach. I also used to piss on the walls and floor in their bathroom but never into the blue water. I invalidated a couple tests and got people written up for not following procedure in handling my urine sample properly. The place I went was supposed to do certain steps in a specific order and then seal off the sample in my presence and have me sign off on it. Some of the techs would want to do all the writing and signing in one shot. When they did that I made a fucking stink.
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#545696 - 03/01/12 09:08 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
I've worked under random drug testing rules for some time now. As long as they aren't testing for hangovers I'm good to go and always will be. I have no idea how this XPT thread got so off-track but expect to bring it back online after the boat tomorrow or Saturday.

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#545698 - 03/01/12 09:25 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
If you invite Brandon to your boat you can tell your wife you found the little man in the boat.
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#545714 - 03/02/12 12:51 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I have a really long piss test tale. Won't go into it, but suffice it to say the exam gloves the cunt wore weren't sufficient.
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Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#545719 - 03/02/12 01:09 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Had to be a previous job right? No way they can piss test bong makers.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#545721 - 03/02/12 01:25 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
fartz Offline
Registered Sex Offender

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2330
Loc: Central US
I have a friend who gave his ID to his sober, younger, similar-looking brother to go in and piss for him for a job, and I'll be damned if it didn't work.

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#545738 - 03/02/12 04:26 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Originally Posted By: Jerkules
Had to be a previous job right? No way they can piss test bong makers.


No. Current, actually. The tobacco waterpipe making is just a sideline.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#545742 - 03/02/12 04:48 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
aaaAAAAaaaH. I thought you were a full time bongsmith.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#545758 - 03/02/12 05:30 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Jerkules]
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
I had a Valley Forge Park Ranger accuse me of having a bong in the park. He was making threats and calling me names. What I had was an AstroScan telescope.

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#545760 - 03/02/12 05:37 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
I was once pulled aside at customs in Germany because of my Viktor&Rolf parfum. They thought it was a bomb perhaps. I had my receipt from duty free, but it was still confiscated.

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#545801 - 03/02/12 08:15 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Jerkules]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Originally Posted By: Jerkules
aaaAAAAaaaH. I thought you were a full time bongsmith.


I'm getting there. It's a slow process when you're too cowardly to make big jumps. I really do like "bongsmith" tho. It's written in crayon on the back of an envelope.

Fiend, I could make a bon...tobacco waterpipe out of that. A lot of my time is spent looking at stuff and wondering how I could smoke out of it and how I could sell it to others to smoke out of.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#545806 - 03/02/12 08:27 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
barry you seen THESE bad motherfuckers?. they're supposed to be like the dyson of the bon...waterpipe world.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#545809 - 03/02/12 08:33 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
I'd love to see a Barry's Tobacco Pipes thread. Much more interesting that Panzer's Custom Anal Beads.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#545813 - 03/02/12 08:42 PM Re: Your Latest Purchase [Re: Uncle Joe]
drained Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 4580
Tobacco pipes. Bath salts. Herbal relaxation products. Fucking nonsense.

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