My brother live in Baltimore and COULD NOT wait to leave.
He HATED it there.
Now as you attribute to Mencken, he makes his big bucks in NYC ... but he spends his in Philly.
Personally, I liked Camden Yards, Fort McHenry and the entire city harbor area. Liked walking the boardwalk from the aquarium to the science center [or whatever that is]. Even Federal Hill park.
And, of course, Attman's Deli!!
But, I didn't have to live there.
In any case, do you not understand what my alluding to your girl as the one with "gum drop titties" implies???