Quote:

---

jEEEZ, YOU GUYS NEED to spend a weekend with Da Burg and his seminar on Strip Clubs "Dont let the Urge to Splurge Lead you to Splooge like a Stooge...and ruin your slacks."

Like anything else, you get out of the experience what you put into it, and you need to be honest with yourself about why you are going to the strip club and what you hope to accomplish (inside yourself for YOURSELF)...do you want to just kill and hour or two, get a buzz and oogle tits? Do you want to spend 2 hours with a perpetual hardon so that when you go home to your wife or GF you are so fucking horny you rape them and cum an amount that mimics peter north and would make Ceara Lynch very happy? Or do you want to go and meet strippers for the purpose of finding a date or sex-for-hire experience after her shift ends? Maybe you are just like me, you go to a club, meet a girl you already know and like and trust and who feels the same about you (or pretends to) and you spend the evening in a VIP booth talking about anything, getting shitfaced or stoned and being physically intimate in a way that doesnt involve lap dances or blow jobs (i.e. in her arms or vice versa.)

Bottom line, dont go if you cant afford it...and if you can afford it, dont be a cheapskate...go at it full throttle, depending on the answers to the questions in the preceding paragraph. Find the drunkest, most fucked up stripper and see how far you can go molesting her (and she molesting YOU!) I find that totally wasted strippers will allow you to finger them for a mere pittance....in their stupor they dont want to be jumping around giving a lap dance, they would rather sit and enjoy their high/buzz while you wiggle a digit up inside her twat and she discreetly rubs your hardon through your pants.

See a stripper you dislike or who is a bitch? well, I advocate calling her over for a lap dance and PREPAYING for 2 or 3 songs to get her relaxed and off her guard, and then in the middle of the first song while she is rubbing and moving, YOU furtively unzip your fly and wiggle your weiner free so that when she does her 5th or 6th Butt-to-crotch rubaround, your weiner springs forth and gets pre-cum all over her butt cheek....Now a lot of different things can happen the moment this weiner-precum moment occurs: She may pretend not to notice and either step back and finish the dances from 3 feet away, or she may just continue to rub against you and your dick, taking the forthcoming splooge that happens just as the last song you paid for finishes, but then demands a HUGE extra tip for taking a load of yours on her buttcheek or thigh. OR...she may actually enjoy having your dick free to play with and molest but watch out, she might cause pain instead of pleasure. If you are in the VIP room and you manage to get your dick free, she may stop and discuss further negotiations, offering to Blow you but it will cost you, starting with making the doorman look the other way. OR she may just tell u to fuck off and threaten to turn you in if you demand your money back when she storms off.

Got all that?

I am way beyond the juvenile "getting your weiner rubbed" in a stripclub motivation. For devious shenanigans in a strip club, I prefer to find out which whores like their chemicals and to bring a little doggie bag of those exact chemicals, and have the bitch eating out of my hand "One potato Two...." except it is One Percocet Two...

---

love you for saying that