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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K

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"All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."

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Never trust a big butt and a smile

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I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.