http://www.rightwingnews.com/john/mightbedem.phpShould You Become A Democrat?
by John Hawkins
As a service to RWN's readers, I have prepared the following 25 questions to help people determine if they should join the Democratic party. Feel free to share it with friends and family members and if they find themselves answering "yes" to most of the questions below, then the Democrats are the party for them.
Are you...
...speaking out against every security measure that President Bush proposes because you claim it will turn America into a "police state" while simultaneously planning to criticize Bush for not doing enough to protect us when we're inevitably hit with another terrorist attack? [YES]
...convinced that killing a baby in the womb in OK, while killing a serial killer is wrong? [KILL, KILL, KILL]
...terribly disturbed by the idea that Europe might not be happy with us, but fairly indifferent to threat that terrorists present? [WHAT?]
...of the opinion that those racist, warmongering, Fascist, Nazi-like, heartless, moronic, evil, Republicans are mean spirited hatemongers? [sans adjectives, YES]
...horrified when you hear about dolphins being killed in a tuna net, but unperturbed by a woman aborting her own baby? [WHAT? THIS IS IDIOTIC! RANDY CUNNINGHAM LOVES THE DOLPHINS!]
...wondering if we can "afford" a tax cut while supporting every expensive, new social program proposed in Congress? [Let's give it a try and let's undo all of the pandering GW Bush tax cuts]
...worried that the electronic voting machines might be rigged, but unconcerned about people voting without a picture ID? [mass election fraud > individual voter fraud]
...against a draft if it's needed by the military to field a fighting force, but for a draft if it's proposed by anti-war Democrat in an attempt to undercut support for war? [idiot]
...terrified by the idea of global warming, but only minimally concerned about stopping terrorists who want to release biological weapons in the US? [YES]
...opposed to cutting taxes on the middle class and the poor if it means that the rich will get a tax cut as well? [restore a progressive tax to get the CEOs and hedge-fund managers to cut back on their private jet and yacht-lengthage, yes]
Do you...
...criticize Republicans because you think they judge people by the color of their skin, yet support Affirmative Action? [uncertain; 99% of Republicans are white]
...think that UN approval was irrelevant when Bill Clinton wanted to go into Kosovo, but that our invasion of Iraq will be "illegitimate" if the UN doesn't approve? [not equivalent, asshat!]
...support going to war for "humanitarian" reasons unless our country will also benefit in some way, in which case you're strongly against it? [oil]
...claim that you want a strong economy, yet support almost every regulation & tax increase that comes down the pike? [YES! Unrestrained greedy capitalism is just plain "evil"; under GW Bush, five million MORE families have entered poverty...]
...enjoy going to anti-war rallies run by Communists who oppose everything our country stands for? [Communists? Cool! They know how to drink, enjoy jazz, and read books! Better, at the rallies, one can meet optimists.}
...tend to trust things said by blood thirsty & unbalanced dictators more than you do things said by your own President -- provided that he's a Republican? [only if those dictators are conducive to America's oil-addiction]
...believe that trial lawyers who win outrageous malpractice judgements against doctors and drive up medical costs for the rest of us are really "sticking up for the little guys" who end up paying the bills? [yes; the trial lawyers are the last bastion of justice in Bushworld]
...feel that banning handguns would be a more effective crime fighting tool than severely punishing criminals & "three strikes and you're out" laws?
...think that nations like Iran, Iraq, and North Korea are only minor annoyances and that the United States is actually the greatest threat to world peace? [No; it would be good to not have a 9 trillion-dollar debt and an overextended military to deal with external threats]
...point to David Duke, a former Klansman who never won an office above state legislator, as evidence of racism in the Republican party, while believing that having Robert Byrd in the Senate doesn't reflect negatively on the Democratic party? {Byrd had a great speech saying 'nay' to invading Iraq, bitch.]
...admire the "human shields" who went to Baghdad, but think protests in front of abortion clinics should be banned? {ban 'em both.]
...believe that we're rushing to war with Iraq despite the fact that the UN has been trying to convince Saddam to disarm for more than 12 years? {it's called "containment")
...think Ann Coulter is mean spirited, vicious, & shrill, but Maureen Dowd, Ted Rall, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, John Pilger, Margo Kingston, Tom Daschle, Noam Chomsky, Arianna Huffington, Molly Irvins, Eric Alterman & James Carville (among many others) are nice, sweet-natured, and reasonable?
...tend to be minimally concerned about the victims and potential victims of terrorists, but very concerned about how the terrorists are treated after they're caught? [potentially, maybe...}
...feel that the rich must have inherited their money, gotten lucky, or cheated someone to earn their wealth, but that it's society's fault that people are poor? [YES!]
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