Funniest thievery I heard of: A friend worked with a guy that drove a tow truck at night. Every now and then when there were no calls, he would steal ATM. He'd break into a convenience store, wrap the tow line from the truck around the ATM, then get in the truck and floor it. Couple blocks away, he'd stop and winch the machine onto the bed of the truck. When he finally got popped, he was in a high speed chase with police, dragging the ATM behind the truck. It was swinging around the street, side swiping cars, etc. Must be a cool story to tell the other inmates.