There was some asshole named MrTongueTwist who I wanted to throttle through my cable modem. Every single statement was an inside reference to some street in Orlando, or the fallback I-don't-have-anything-interesting-to-say 'lol'. Fucking putz.
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"All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."