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And all this time I thought it was about Jesus' resurrection from the dead ... and then when he awoke he realized that he was trapped buried alive in a catacomb which was blocked by this huge egg shaped rock ... and his damn disciples were still Jews ... so they were off having a matzoh brie for brunch ... so he was slowy re-dying ... until he was discovered by bright yellow puffy chicks who called for help ... and out came an army of bunnies ... but they couldn't move the solid rock ... but then the Holy Spirit of God saw their struggle ... and so he changed the egg-shaped solid rock solid to a thin hollow shell ... and the bunnies moved the rock ... and Jesus emerged just in time ... and then they all ate milk chocolate together ... and when the bunnies weren't happy since they thought the candy figures would be solid and not hollowed out Jesus reminded them of the rock miracle ... and no one noticed that eating chocolate was odd since the only chocolate at that time was in South America ... and milk chocolate wouldn't be invented for quite a few centuries more ...

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