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Cokehead Escorts can be a lot of fun however...I used to take advantage of their hyper-wired sensibility and have them clean my house while over, nothing like seeing a hot coked out chick dusting and vacuuming like a whirling dervish...



That's nothing. You should provide them with meth. They'll sort your sock drawer by color, alphabetize your cd collection, and detail your car. In an hour.



Yes Meth is a given....Best Methed-out whore story da burglar has:

San Jose, Spring 2002. I am staying in a condo near SJ Airport, and the complex has its own shopping mall, restaurants and *gasp* Dairy Queen! 9:15 pm, I am dog tired but "Amanda" has been tweaking for 36 hours and, having gobbled a couple loads and given me 5 back rubs to the point where I have a sunburn, she is now demanding we prance down to the Dairy Queen for a Dilly Bar. Fuck, I just want to go to sleep and besides, the DQ closes in 15 minutes and it is a decent 1/3 of a mile walk from my door to the plaza. She insists and before I know it she is wheeling me out the door and running pushing me down the sidewalk towards the plaza. I cant believe how fucking fast we are going, my hearing aid is whistling in the wind...I cant even grab my wheels or brakes, because we are going too fast...I am gripping my sidebars in terror hoping she stays on the side walk. We nearly Kill 3 people on the way, me yelling "Get the fuck out of the way!" and her laughing a maniacal Meth laugh.

We get to the DQ with 3 minutes to spare, she takes one bite of her Dilly bar and leaves the rest to melt. While she goes into the bathroom to pee, I take off and wheel as fast as I can back to my condo before she gets the idea to push me around again. She knocks on my door 90 minutes later, saying she got lost and couldnt find her way back and "Why did you leave me?!!!"

I need to write this into a movie, I really do....


Edited by Burg and his Burgness (03/14/08 08:42 PM)
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Are you gonna eat that?