Dear Malice,

Please make all the bad men stop saying mean things about me. Words hurt. I would have wet my bed last night, if I hadn't passed out in the hallway from the drink.

I can't defend myself, and my multiple IDs sticking up for me is no longer doing the job. I know it's against the board rules, but if I can't use multiple IDs, how can I try to manipulate things to my advantage?

I can't handle the pressure - It's just like the pressure I had in law school, except that I never went to law school.

Please please help - you're my last resort.

yours in pathos,

JimB, RaoulD, DuffG, and countless others.

Back to your cubicle, bitch.