"Turning that burner up to high" is the key to an outstanding steakhouse sirloin steak or filet mignon. Again, that heavy cast iron skillet is going to be your friend.

Don't have a lot of money? Lodge Logic is Made in USA cast iron cookware starting around $10. Le Creuset is for suckers.

But now I'm gonna go get my morning coffee from a bikini barista.

"Turning that burner up to high" is the key to an outstanding steakhouse sirloin steak or filet mignon. Again, that heavy cast iron skillet is going to be your friend.

Don't have a lot of money? Lodge Logic is Made in USA cast iron cookware starting around $10. Le Creuset is for suckers.

The baking steel is just a cooking surface that you place on one of the oven racks to preheat and cook. I see no danger in doing this, but I'm curious to hear why you think it might be unsafe.

Cheezoffka (grilled pizza salad) and Homemade Pizza Hot Pockets

is cheezofka an actual dish that has a cultural origin or is it cuisine de panzer?

It's quail-egg mayonnaise. Apparently Russians like that.

Ewww like I said I hate Mayo and will never eat Quail eggs either, Im a very pick fat girl.

Can't cook. Just arrived in nyc at heather pink's. she had no fridge and never turned her stove on. Welcome to the anorexic kitchen.

she lives on dirty cock and deceit...just like any other whore, frank. how do you not know that by now?.

2x Spicy Russian Sausage gyros: I put some Wishbone Ranch sauce on the heated grill and smother the gyro bread on both sides with it, and grill the bread on both sides for brief amount of time. I then remove the gyro bread on a plate and throw some diced Odessa-style sausage from the Domino baza onto the grill and season it with garlic powder and with Southern Buffalo Prarie seasoning. I then begin to coat and throw around the grill the diced sausage pieces while making some noise with the tongs. I then threw some dice red onions and green peppers onto the grill with the sausage. I stir it with tongs here-and-there for some time and add some marinated red peppers into the mix. I also stir this for some time and then I add some Red Hot pepper sauce into the mix, and stir it some more here-and-there. Then I sprinkle a healthy dose of Sargento Chef Blends 6 Cheese Italian cheese blend (natural Mozzarella, smoked Provolone, Romano, Fontina, Asiago and Parmesan) on top of already spicy Russian Odessa-style sauce, spicy-caremelized red onions, tender-hot green peppers and sweet red peppers. Then I mix it all into a glob of food and pile it on top of greasy Ranch-infused gyro bread.

A real panty-dropper recipe: Chicken Kiev, just like mama used to make. (And no, Alex, there is no ketchup used in this recipe.)

Slice a pocket into the side of a boneless chicken breast (partially butterflying the breast, if you will), and fill it with a disc of garlic, tarragon, and parsley-infused chilled butter. That disc should represent about a quarter-stick of butter. Push it up in there good.

The key is to carefully dry the seam, then press together with a bit of egg wash. Dredge the breast in flour, back to the egg wash, and then into bread crumbs. Repeat the egg wash and bread crumbs to make sure the coating is thick. Then let the chicken breast rest uncovered on a plate in the fridge for at least two hours. During this time you're letting the seam seal up, which is critical to retaining the pocket full of butter.

Clean your kitchen up while the meat is setting in the fridge, dummy.

Heat up your oven to 350° F (190° C). In a small saute pan just big enough to accommodate the chicken breast, add half an inch of olive oil. Heat that oil up to just below the smoke point. (When you drop a bread crumb in and it sizzles you're in business.)

Now take your chicken out of the fridge and lay it carefully into the oil. What should happen is the oil will rise to cover the sides of the breast, but not enough to submerge the breast. What you're doing here is frying the crust and the egg wash in the seam in a race to get a hard seal before your butter liquefies. If all goes well, you can gently turn this over in six minutes or so, and cook for another four.

Have you got your oven heated to 350° F (190° C)? When the breadcrumb coating is browned all over, pop that chicken into the oven for a little finishing. Just plop it on the rack. About six to eight minutes in there will do. Finishing in the oven allows crust to crisp up (if you serve right away it gets soggy), and also ensures that the chicken meat will be thoroughly cooked. Nothing kills a good chicken dinner like undercooked meat.

Tonight's meal was accompanied by a fresh carrot-coriander soup (hey, there's that cilantro again), and mashed red potatoes. A little squeeze of lemon on the chicken when it came out of the oven finished the presentation.

When she cut into that chicken, and the butter came gushing out, I knew there was going to be some butt fucking on the dessert menu. And there was. Recipe for the carrot-coriander soup available upon request.