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Van Nuys- Friends, Romans and countrymen wearing their ears came Thursday afternoon to pay court to the once mighty Caesar of the adult industry, Jim South.
South, a former insurance salesman from Dallas, and arguably the most powerful guy in the adult industry in his heyday [he who controls access to the women controls the business], is sharing a broad chuckle.
South mentions how people thought there was some kind of cattle call being held on the premises when, in fact, it was only an open house.
Coming out of a super-quick retirement, South who’s been a fixture on Van Nuys Boulevard since bellbottoms and disco music, just re-opened his talent agency, World Modeling. So there’s been no time to rustle the cattle in the hallway, although South still dresses like a gentleman rancher- crisp blue jeans, the showy belt buckle, black cowboy boots and a western shirt.
Everything in the office seems old but new again. Preserved – just like the Kennedy library.
The old couch is the same. And I recalled, at the time, wondering with a sense of irony, who the fuck the guy in the baseball cap chewing the toothpick, occupying it, was. It was writer Bob Ellison who'd trawl the office for porn girl interviews. Now I’m the guy in the baseball cap chewing the toothpicks.
“This place was my other home,†muses Lynn Lemay who’s also showed up for the open house. “If you were in town you sat your butt in that chair, ten in the morning.â€
The sense of history remains because South didn’t relinquish the place to civilians with no sense of porn immortality. Instead, some industry guys occupied the joint in the interim - people like Brett Rockman and Mr. Marcus; and Bill Margold still maintains the PAW offices there in the front room.
So South was basically able to step out of his time capsule into an old, comfortable vibe. The kitchen area looks revitalized, and I recall attending my first cattle call in that room on a very hot day in April 16 years ago, taking furious, chatty notes as girls stripped naked for Polaroids.
Polaroids were all a part of South’s game, the only one in town at one point, but even Polaroid stopped making the film. It’s all digital now. And photographer Marco Pelotti, who’s leasing space in South’s office, knocks off a few shots for the Internet.
The original Polaroid of Tom Byron wearing a mullet and nothing else is passed around. Imagine what that Byron snapshot might bring you on eBay.
Even Byron shows up, but he no longer looks like his Polaroid. None of us do. Byron’s laughing about how he stayed sober at the AVN awards thinking he might come up on stage with a sense of gravitas and accept his Best Actor award for a film performance.
It’s probably the last time this award will ever be given, so Byron’s, at the same time, disappointed because his enforced sobriety went for naught. His award that night was read out.
Someone mentions that South’s Elvis pompadour isn’t as full as it used to be, either, although every hair follicle is still in place, present and accounted for. South makes a joke about adjusting his toupee. South’s told that Tony Batman was also showing up to cover the story. South looks quizzical.
“Batman? Is that a cartoon guy?â€
Just informed that I was no longer with AVN, South, now really perplexed, admits that he doesn’t keep up with the industry gossip sheets, although Batman, who walks in during this comment, says his is not to gossip.
He's laughing while saying this, looking in my direction. I tell Batman very funny but he’s about three pages of notes behind in his story.
“That’s okay!†he roars. “I’ve got photographers coming!†Except Batman admits they’re stuck in traffic.
I tell Batman, that’s okay. My pen doesn’t get stuck in traffic and, besides, nobody reads pictures, anyway.
“And I only allow Ph.D’s access to my site,†I inform him.
Batman finds this sparring between colleagues rather amusing.
Traci Lords, in her autobiography, claimed South plied her with champagne and coke [the sniffing variety] during her first nude shoot, but South’s serving an innocuous strawberry shortcake, instead. It’s a pretty damn good strawberry shortcake.
South’s holding a clipboard, and a joke is made about him taking Latte orders for a Starbucks run.
South busts balls, he gets his balls busted. That’s how it always been over at World Modeling where on a Thursday night you could also sit in on a poker game and lose a couple of bucks.
Lynn Lemay remembers taking a few of them in games of Hi-Lo from Dick Miller over the years.
“Dickie,†who used to own Intropics Video before selling the line, has since moved to the Czech Republic. My memories of Dick Miller were the baseball sized roll of hundreds he’d pull out of his pants pocket. Obviously a few of them eventually going over to Lemay. That’s when times in the industry were really good.
Times now aren’t as good as they used to be. And South’s competing with a new generation of porn agents when it was only him, Reb Sawitz, death threats and baseball bats at twenty paces. The South-Sawitz feuds were legendary.
“Every pimp with three girls is an agent now,†South is saying. But he’s wishing to God I wouldn’t quote him.
Lemay, who now runs a company called Lemayzing Pictures,
www.lemayzing.com will be celebrating 20 years in the business, April 3rd. South jokes about how her career, theoretically, should be celebrated on April 1st. Lemay shoots him a dart out of her left eyeball. South then asks her if she’s still doing 15 year-old boys. Lemay goes on to explain how her boys are a lot older.
Kat Kleevage, who will be organizing an anniversary roast for Lemay, says, “I’ve had the opportunity to go with lots of agencies, but when I heard Jim was back in, I said I’m coming to this. And he’s not a boy.â€
South does inspire a fierce loyalty. There’s no question about that.
South asks Kleevage what happened to her.
“I got sidetracked,†she replies, laughing. Kleevage also laughs about how South and Rob Spallone used to trade her back and forth between agencies.
Lemay talks about how, back in the day, you didn’t have drivers taking you around to sets. You used cabs. So, in that sense, South is stepping up his game by providing transportation. Lemay also remembers coming into the business when there were 30 active performers. Now you’ve got agencies repping 130. But Roy Karch, who’s also come to pay homage, seems to think Lemay’s numbers were off, that it was more like 40.
“It was easy, then,†he tells her. Lemay offers a friendly warning to newcomer Skyla Rose about avoiding trips to the back room with Karch. Karch takes this as a dubious compliment.
“I’m quicker than ever,†Karch chuckles, through a set of teeth that will also be enshrined in the Kennedy library, probably.
South’s on the phone talking to a client.
“I’ve got a really cute girl who’s been with someone else…†South’s telling who’s ever on the other end.
“He’s back,†Lemay whispers to Kleevage.
But through the laughs, Lemay’s also having a sobering concern because her daughter, who’s deployable, could go to Iraq at any moment. For that reason, Lemay doesn’t want to see another Republican in office.
“Then, again, Hillary couldn’t handle her husband so how could she handle Iraq?†wonders Lemay. “The life of one of my children’s involved.â€
Jeff Coldwater brings in an attractive MILF and introduces her to South. South can’t believe she’d be seen in public with Coldwater.
“I’m glad you’re back,†Coldwater tells him.
The woman says her name is Sofia Soleil.
“Like Ban de Soleil,†she explains, telling South she always wanted to be represented by an Icon.
Someone suggests to South, what if, what if this Icon-coming-out-of retirement-thing doesn’t work?
“Maybe Derek can get me a job,†South drawls with mild amusement. Then he watches me grab for my pen.
“Don’t write that!â€
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