It sounds all so glamorous and sexy to direct a great award-winning bukkake scene and to then stride purposefully in front of the camera to unleash an almighty load on some semen-soaked lovely's beaming visage, followed by a 10 minute standing ovation and a lifetime of admiration by all on the set on that forever memorable day.

However, just think about the absurd reality of the situation for a while. You have probably spent the last four hours and 20 phone calls trying to rouse the girl from her drug/booze/'tired single mother' induced sleep and get her ass on the set on time. She has turned up on set looking like crap and with a strange all-over rash, and you have sent her off to get a shower and undergo heavy-duty special effects make-up to get her looking half-way attractive. She has brought totally inappropriate clothing and no underwear. Five minutes before the scene starts she wants to re-negotiate her pay for the scene and amend the list of what she will and won't do. You finally end up in a yelling match with her over various irrelevant general shit that girls, and particularly pretty girls, throw at guys all the time.

Now, do you really think that you would be in the right frame of mind at that point in time to rub one out on her smirking dial?

Then, when you get to actual sex, you find yourself standing there with two or three sweaty guy's asses (or worse!) rubbing against your ass, as you reach for that 2 square inches of girl flesh that you can touch from your position in the crowd in order to turn yourself on.

My guess is that the odds would be astronomically high that you would end up there on the set, long after most of the cast and crew had gone out the back for sushi and tacos, standing in a corner surrounded by 20 pairs of stinky sneakers whilst you desperately wank away trying to get enough wood to cum.

And the worst part of this whole nightmarish scenario? - standing right next to you, also desperately jerking away on his own limp sausage, will be Ryan Knox!