I had a couple buddies back in my doper days who used to get high and pick up sluts at bars or if either was involved they would go pick up a hooker and take turns with her at a motel. "Insane Wayne" was a 6'5" tall lanky biker wanna-be who looked like a lost member of ZZ-Top and Johnny J. was literally a mental patient and looked like he could be John Wayne Gacy's illegitimate son.

I get a call from Johnny J. one night to roll down into a rather bad section of Philly to pick him up because Wayne flipped out on him and left him there. So I find the shitbag motel he's at and as soon as he jumps in the car he tells me what happened.

He and Wayne were getting high for 3 days straight when Wayne decides he wants to get a whore from the stroll in the city. John agrees to go for the ride( and because he is getting high out of Wayne's bag). Wayne finally finds a whore who will get into a car with two really strange dudes and they head for the no-tell motel that has hourly rates. Wayne flips for the room and they all go in, do some dope and bullshitting. This is the point where John says he started to really look at the whore and "she" has a really dark Five O'clock shadow going on but before he can say anything Wayne grabs her and pulls her into the bathroom and when he comes back out tells John that he paid her to blow both of them and it was his turn. John refuses on the grounds that the hooker is a dude. Wayne starts swearing its a chick and since he already paid that Johnny J. has to go in and get his knob polished on principal. John refuses on the grounds that he's not queer. Wayne goes into a rage swearing this whore is a bitch and that he's not a homo and keeps emphatically insisting that Johnny J. go in and get a hummer off the "chick" in the bathroom. Finally the whore comes out of the bathroom to see whats going on because Wayne is flipping the fuck out. Wayne looks over and tells the whore to show Johnny J. that she is a woman. The whore pulls off his wig and tells Wayne that, " I am whatever you pay me to be, sweetie" in a deep masculine voice. Johnny started laughing his ass off and Wayne just went pale and started mumbling over and over that, "I'm not a faggot., I'm not a faggot. " as he ran out of the room and jumped in his car and left Johnny J. with the tranny hooker.

Johnny J. said he asked for half the money back and threatened the tranny. He managed to get 10 bucks off the tranny which I demanded for the ride out of the badlands. We never did hear from "Insane Wayne" again after that.