The Best New Year's Eves Are Naughty
BY MIKE PETTIT

MONDAY 31, 2007

SAN DIEGO (TNA) – New Year’s is here. But it’s not just about champagne and noisemakers. It’s also a time when horny holiday revelers celebrate by having sex in two separate years – 2007 and 2008 – within a matter of seconds.

Yep, it’s the only night of the year that allows for the sort of licentious behavior you can get away with on Dec. 31. When the ball drops at midnight, rest assured plenty of people will be dropping their inhibitions – and their drawers.

Some are already piecing together the blueprints that will help make all their naughty New Year’s wishes come true; others are wondering what reactions their sordid tales will elicit come Jan. 2.

And while a number of folks will make memories on New Year’s Eve, others, like Rhode Island native Clarence Bedford, will be reminiscing over – or regretting – their naughtier New Year’s celebrations.

Bedford says his wildest New Year’s came in 1996 while working as an English teacher. He ended up getting laid, but also learned a valuable lesson: When it comes to sex, never settle for second-best.

Bedford says he and some friends had polished off about a fifth of whiskey before stumbling into a small, dark British pub, where several Japanese college students were partying.

Two women immediately caught his attention.

“One of them was hot; the other was fat,” he said. “I told myself, ‘Go for the hot chick – avoid the fat chick.’”

As the night progressed, Bedford worked his crush – dancing, laughing and drinking – and left her candy cane-striped-pants-wearing sidekick to wander off in search of New Year’s love.

There was only one problem: He wasn’t alone in paying the pretty gal attention. In fact, Bedford recalls being joined by several drunk, equally horny men in the quest to land a coveted piece of ass.

Sadly, he ultimately tired of the contest and resolved to go another route.

“I don’t know what it was,” he said, “but there was just something inside me that said, ‘You just wanna get laid.’”

Ask and ye shall receive.

It gets naughter....