I deny being in Hard Mechanics 2. I had such a horrible time on the first one that I refused to sign on for the sequel. I was lured on set by being told my then-Platinum X mobile would get a lube job and that turned out not to be 100% true.

Now be a good boy and wean yourself from Mom's exhausted, tooth-pocked tit. You are in your 30s, dude. No more breast feeding for you. Didn't anyone tell you that Mama's Boy is merely an expression and not a relationship status?

I'm about as STD-free as you are "str8" as evidenced by your voracious searches for gay porn. Get help, sir, and for God's sake clean that hard drive of Mom's Dell. There must be things on it that she wouldn't want to see. Amoxicillin and Cipro can help me but there are no drugs to cure your homoerotic fantasies. May I suggest 200 mg of cyanide? Wash it down with some milk straight -- oh, excuse me -- str8 from the tap.