ever as a tattoo artist? i will pay actual cost then triple it if anyone will either let burg write on them or have someone who reguarly uses needles on other people to do it for you. you will be paid, you can use travis as a reference if you're concerned about compensation-large bills and prompt delivery are a given for decent entertainment. and he just asked for it, you'd have to do something. if someone's hurting financially this holiday season i implore you to take my offer, which extends to any tattoo place you choose and you put other ink on the bill. i'll make sure the artist is paid by deposit then in full if you don't flake. then send you whatever the bill came to in cash a few times over depending on the length and content of the burgpost you choose. fuck, be a good parent and do it for you kid's braces. i'm serious.

i realize some tattoos are made of more than one word, especially as i watch more and more of the football season and realize black people with huge muscles write passages that jesus or someone said in the bible on their bodies.

so writing stuff on yourself is cool, especially if the language is uncommon enough that most people half-understand what the fuck it was they just read and explain it.

men who were smart and could draw things died with that italian guy or maybe blake but he's really dead too. like after you could expect to shit exclusively in toilets if you're homeless and make an effort men don't draw pictures well unless it's their profession. if you're good you do comic books otherwise you dye people's skin. but otherwise, i don't feel there's a substantive difference between what i would draw in art class with charcoal and what our ancestors drew on cave walls. in fact, if i had to draw an animal i'd probably choose some cowbullbuffalo thing because it's easy. not because they were godlike and still a big deal to kill.


i made my point-we use words a lot now. i just did.

burg LOVES words. hoards them, swims in a vault of small bills mixed with random pages of text from periodicals, fiction, nonfiction, even reference.

he is the perfect tattoo artist. nothing would be funnier than burglarposts on xpt written into someone's shoulder.

or just let him go wherever the wind takes him that day, which is usually a huge extempore haystack of stories about hookers, stories about being crippled and stories about being crippled and intoxicated around lots and lots of hookers then some sweeping statements that can either start the impossible attempt at a conculsion to something that never needed one or it could be a sign of another eruption of burgwriting. you can't guess unless you see the words stop right afterwards.

burg would NEVER run out of things to write on people's bodies. he could cover every customer in ink from head to toe every day for 100 hours a week.

even if you requested something specific like a rose or "mom" he'd lull you into firing off a few quick paraqraphs on your back you couldn't see constantly while they were being written. you ask for an asian symbol, you get some story about a hooker's leg being caught in the spokes of a wheelchair passed out at some water-feature inside of a casino screaming as morphine sulphate pills fell out of her purse into the water. or something like that.



you'd just turn your body into a human burg posting.

I'll chip in $750 if the tattoo is just below each clavicle and reads, "Addicted To Jizz."

$1,000 if the recipient is Hailey Fivehead.

$1,250 if the recipient is Brandon Irons.

$1,500 and a bucket of diabetic-jenkem if the recipient is Cryin Knox.

Does the vict . . . I mean subject get paid per word? Is there a sliding scale as to value of said words in relation to the amount of drugs in Burgs system?
Say for instance, Burg on 5 Xannies, 2 Percs, one Lortab, 4 bonghits and a half bottle of whatever would fetch $5.50 per word with an average of no less than 500 words to fetch the sucker $2750 for their mortgage, rock, or car payment, and a lifetime of humiliation.
So that's $.50 per pill, .$25 per bonghit, and .$50 per half bottle of booze for each word. Smell what I'm cooking here?

Break the $10/word barrier and get a bonus Joyce-like run-on sentence sans punctuation or any discernable structure.

I like this, this thing could have legs.

I could do this. My attorney is working on a waiver so no one can sue me for every pill I've got if they get an infection, or if I have a bad day and decide to have a typo fest on their ass. Fuck the idiots of the world....people are starving in Detroit.

Funny you should mention "Spokes", this one hooker who was Bi and had a butch which required a wig got her fake shit stuck in my wheel onetime while blowing me in a freight elevator at a Smart and Final regional headquarters building back in 1998 on Halloween during a rainstorm while 23 Mexican warehouse dudes sang La Bamba amidst pallets of Kraft Macaroni and cheese.

Bartley's 12/28 for lunch??

Oh. My. God. It's already started!!!!!

Godalmighty james came out of nowhere and made the best post of the year.

"burg loves words, he hordes them...."

You have to pay a benjamin for ever "debauchery" and ten bucks for every slash "/". Burg's use of the slash, to me, is the single biggest indicator of his word-gluttony. He is never satisfied to just throw one word out there- he has to let everyonew know he has two, maybe three perfectly good words for every situation.

Give that mo-fo an ink gun.

Would Burg be willing to share some of his pain killing medication(s) to with the recipient of the tattoo while he is writing a mini-novel on them, or do they have to suffer the pain without any type of relief?

Would the harvard anecdotes be more painful than the tattoo itself? I think yes.

in said Tattoos, some Extra words should be Capitalized.

Okay I'm in... I have some skin still open. Since every needle stroke is a wound this will obviously be fatal. Can payment be set up in a trust fund for my son?;-)