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#290905 - 12/14/07 11:34 PM
The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Its real simple...everyone come up with their own analogy-type questions related to porn and all things disgusting....we'll debate and discuss the (most) appropriate and correct responses to each question propsed by each poster. I will start us off with these:
#1) Porn is to Sex as
(a) Mcdonald's is to Nutrition
(b) Grand Theft Auto is to Growing up in South Central Los Angeles
(c) Donkey punching is to Honeymoons
#2) JM Productions/Max Hardcore is to Holly Randall as
(a) Cumfart Cocktails is to Romance
(b) Ass is to Mouth
(c) Sal McVagrant is to Bachelor Parties
#3) Brandon is to Valtrex as
(a) Ceara Lynch is to a Healthy Colon
(b) Yeast is to Hillary Scott's Pussy
(c) Stagliano is to Pfizer
(d) Whore is to Crack
(e) Sierra Sinn is to Shelly Luben
(f) Batman is to his Utility belt
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#290906 - 12/15/07 01:54 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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1. a, 2. a, 3. f
Ok, here's mine...
A suitcase pimp on set is to a scene as:
a. A barnacle is to a boat.
b. Mandarin Chinese is to watching Golden Girls.
c. Fire is to a library.
Staph infection is to talent as:
a. Burnt is to toast.
b. Winter is to snow.
c. The writers' strike is to employment.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#290907 - 12/15/07 02:57 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 705
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i got a 730 dont playa hate y'all
or dont playa hate, playa hate the game i suppose
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#290909 - 12/15/07 03:16 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 705
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burg why is b not the best answer to your own first question?
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#290910 - 12/15/07 03:31 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
burg why is b not the best answer to your own first question?
Well it's very close, and as I originally intimated the idea of this post was to also generate discussion.
The make believe aspects of GTA contrast with South Central's reality, just as Porn is a make-believe experience for the viewer with respect to sex. This is the vicarious aspect of both analogies...I am a white crippled man with much social leverage; if I want to know what its like to be a large Smelly black man gangbanger, I can try a video game. But...Porn, on the other hand, has real live people having real actual sex, albeit without any substance or meaning or affection. It truly is fast food sex...plus, I CAN and have experienced in reality what its like jerking off into a woman's mouth, but I have NOT shot up a city block and killed 14 crackheads with an AK-47.
If You eat too much McDonalds, you become nutritionally bankrupt, fat, and socially repugnant....and then you die. If You constantly watch Porn you become morally bankrupt, socially inept (and repugnant) because you forget how to talk to and treat women in real life, instead constantly superimposing a glossy splooge glaze over their face when standing near them during a failed attempt at conversation...you are DEAD on the inside.
Get it?
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#290911 - 12/15/07 03:48 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 705
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god i wish i wasnt so drunk and watching television
now burgentyne, the hypothesis that eating mcdonalds is the complete bastardization and opposite of the real experience of eating etc etc i dont even have to finish i assume you know where i m going is different from the b example (god im drunk dont hold this against me smirnoff blue label plus a long night)
but the sex to IDEALIZED SEX which i think was the point in example 1, has to be given to gta, where in fact the entire ghetto culture is idealized in money cars show off wealth routine, which i dont know if you played a gta recently, and lord knows i havent since gta 3 san and, the element of idealized gangster culture reflected ESPECIALLY in the choice of early 90s rap, IS paramount to the game and what it represents versus actually growing up in south central, having shitty clothes, taking a bus to school, and probably having no dental insurance, the difference from that and gta
vs mickey ds and and cuisine
i lean gta
also god bless burgertyme 
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#290912 - 12/15/07 07:21 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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You got anything for those of us who had to take the ACT instead of SAT?
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#290913 - 12/15/07 08:43 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
You got anything for those of us who had to take the ACT instead of SAT?
*gasp* !!! OMG, the ACT????? I cant even talk to you now, much less respond in the same thread. This is beneath my dignity....I am certain that only james (maybe) scored higher than me in the SAT Verbal section. Ranathan's 730 is lower than my score. I would give Gia a chance, but I am sure she found the entire SAT, and High school experience unchallenging, boring, and a waste of her time... in 1988 she no doubt spent her time masturbating to Guns n Roses posters, perfecting her blowjob technique and increasing her anal capacity with healthy things like Zucchini and Summer Squashes.
Come on people, there is a "wealth" of filth and humorous material in the archives here at XPT to construct a couple of these SAT-like analogies...think of it as a perverted form of exercising your brain (like Sudoku minus the logic, totally Illogical but still cerebrally stimulating) ... it will make you a sharper perverted degenerate and help you and your brain if you ever have a stroke from jerking off too vigorously or taking too big of a bong hit or smoking too much meth...remember, I am here to help.
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#290914 - 12/15/07 09:48 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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Quote:
Quote:
You got anything for those of us who had to take the ACT instead of SAT?
*gasp* !!! OMG, the ACT????? I cant even talk to you now, much less respond in the same thread. This is beneath my dignity....
burglar, i lurve you, but you need to get over it a bit. so sayeth the girl who shops at wal-mart and puts marshmallows on sweet potatoes.
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#290915 - 12/15/07 01:27 PM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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No shit. This thread is a thinly guised attempt to be able to brag about the SAT score you made oh so many years ago.
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#290917 - 12/15/07 02:14 PM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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We never had to write SAT's unless applying to school in the States. After grade 12 we had grade 13, which consisted of completion of six Academic Credits. The average of those courses was the primary consideration for admission to university (college applicants only needed gr 12) and cumulative grades from 9-12 were also factored.
Grade 13 has since been eliminated in my province, but I'm glad I never had to take SAT's. I went through a friend's prep book and it seemed like an awful lot of studying just to bang some drunk freshman pussy.
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#290919 - 12/16/07 10:18 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/10/06
Posts: 1487
Loc: NYC
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Quote:
I am certain that only james (maybe) scored higher than me in the SAT Verbal section. Ranathan's 730 is lower than my score. I would give Gia a chance, but I am sure she found the entire SAT, and High school experience unchallenging, boring, and a waste of her time...
I avoided Columbia and chose to enroll at an even more expensive non-Ivy artfuck school to escape fratboys, sorority whores, huge classes and standardized-testing braggarts, only to encounter this—all these years later—on a fucking PORN BOARD?! Shoot me now, please, before Christmas and AEE.
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#290920 - 12/16/07 11:25 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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I don't think there anything is wrong with discussing the Sexual Aptitude Test on XPT.
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#290921 - 12/16/07 01:44 PM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 3724
Loc: Paddling my canoe in the wild
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Doesn't matter Burg, I heard that Texas' boyfriend scored 782 on his written SATs and 714 on the math. Plus he can climb stairs! And fuck hot chicks without paying them! That has to absolutely suck for you. Have a good weekend. 
_________________________
You're all still alive?
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#290923 - 12/22/07 05:17 PM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Doesn't matter Burg, I heard that Texas' boyfriend scored 782 on his written SATs and 714 on the math. Plus he can climb stairs! And fuck hot chicks without paying them!
That has to absolutely suck for you.
Have a good weekend.
whoa he's hot, but in a an annoying wigga way, what the fuckin happened to the girlfriend? She did like 2 movies and disappeared off the face of the earth.
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#290924 - 12/22/07 05:21 PM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Gypsie/Ren, just stick to the fish...lol. Girl, he is NOT hot.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#290925 - 12/31/07 06:04 PM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/05
Posts: 4726
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Gypsie/Ren, just stick to the fish...lol. Girl, he is NOT hot.
 thanks for the advice.
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#290926 - 01/02/08 08:01 AM
Re: The XPT "SAT Verbal"
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 582
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Burg...again brilliant. And I'm not up to thinking enough to answer anyone else's suggestions right now. So here's mine;
1) Max Hardcore is to a community college drop out as;
a) As crack is to a teenage pothead.
b) As pegging is to Kurt Lockwood.
c) As Dave Naz is to Ashley blue.
2) Belladonna's decision making skills are to parenting;
a) As Shelly Lubben's god is to porn whores.
b) As Brandon Iron is to the self esteem of crack whores.
c) As watching Carley Parker meltdown while swallowing the splooge of numerous unknown convicts is to the goal of achieving an orgasm.
I'll work on everyone else's after the weekend. Off to LA land for a few days.
_________________________
Ashley Blue is like Debi Diamond. Not much too look at, but one helluva fuck.
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