Conky: I spent my money on that copy of ASS DESTROYERS you wanted. You requested the plain brown wrapper, remember? Sorry, but Nacho cannot sign it for you. He said he was weirded out by all the stalker e-mails you've been sending him. E-mailing him the pic of your sphincter-stretching surgery and asking him to sign it to "Conky Culo Grande" was too much, my friend. Learn to leave well enough alone.

I mean, it's evident that you are pretty well off and everything, but you crossed a line by fabricating the Nacho-mobile and telling guys it handled great in tight turns, you had it properly lubed and serviced daily, etc. That's beyond creepy. That's gross.

I won't even comment on the anal wart situation but rest assured that a lawyer has been contacted. You are most cruel, sir, and as soon as my moderator status comes through I will be banning you to 2 weeks detention in your motorized asshole device....windows closed to allow for aromas to stew you. You won't have that supercilious grin on your face then, or will you?