My car needs repair and my work truck was full of too much equipment to leave parked downtown, so I took the bus to do some shopping last night.

The place was packed for Midnight Madness and I encountered every scourge of life in dire need of purging: Slack-jawed mouth breathers. Fat welfare moms who bring a hot friend to push the stroller really slowly so the whale can scout for her next mercy fuck. Loud mouthy teens who have never been parented a day in their lives. The proverbial guy from out of town who's stuck and just needs some money to get home. Black youth who should be arrested for the threatening looks they shoot at you. The skanky blonde bursting with babymama fat who's hanging out waiting to get gangfucked by said black youth.

I'd like to thank each and every one of these people for inspiring me to get off my ass and fix my car. I'll never have to travel with the shallow end of the gene pool again and my mechanic will be able to take his wife on an exotic vacation.