To get in the Christmas spirit of things. Add the preface "people in front of you in the check out lane who" to all of the following:

-have a bank card that only allows them to spend $100 per day yet they have a shopping cart with at least $300 worth of shit in it, 90% of which is going to end up being dumped in the check out person's lap when the cretin has no other method of paying for it.

-have five gift cards with anywhere between $.01 and $3.58 left on them that they want to use to pay for the $20 worth of shit they are buying.

-have screaming little kids with them, especially at times of night when all screaming little kids should be sleeping little kids. I don't remember Dr. Spock signing off on the idea of taking your 7 year old brat shopping with you at 3:00 AM.

-seem to do the shopping for everyone on their block, i.e. "I want to pay for these two items separately, these three items separately, this item separately, these two items separately...

-think that 185 items is close enough to the "around 12 items" disclaimor at the express lane.

Also the people who take 15 minutes between the time they get in their car and the time they actually pull out of the parking place. You are not doing the final pre-launch checkover for a space shuttle flight you are Christmas shopping. Sit your ass in the car, put car in either drive or reverse, and get the hell out of my parking place.