Your unsolicited attention to all matters concerning me, both public and private, is highly disturbing. First, your knowledge about business structures has more gaping holes than Kelly Wells. Second, upon being accused of homoerotic fantasies, you counter that I am a more attractive sexual partner than some women. Paperchase, I will never accuse you of being a skirt chaser, that's for sure. You may wear one but you are fixated on men in general and me in particular.

The restraining order will be filed post haste. When you give in to your instincts and try to steal my underwear from my laundry hamper, leading to your detention at the Men's Central Jail, I will ask Brian to give you a Cheeto.

Bring this thread back to Mr. Surewood, please.