I've been trying for a while to get this loser to post on XPT with no avail. He's too chicken-shit. But this little freak of nature is just way too hilarious not to be exposed. In my line of "work" I chat with a lot of interesting characters. Unfortunately after a few months they all start sound the same and the novelty wears off. Lots of these idiots are broke but still want to be bossed around so they'll just annoy me with begging and pleading as though that replaces money some how. I will be the first to admit that this is the ONE loser who is hilarious and entertaining enough to hold my attention with relatively little money.


(feedback he left me on my phone lines)

Kow Bux: Hi Ceara. How are your sweet little undies today?
Ceara Lynch: screw you loser
Kow Bux: oinkay
Ceara Lynch: are you going to call My iggy line?
Kow Bux: brb...
Kow Bux: i think i got the monkeypox
Ceara Lynch: whats that
Kow Bux: it feels like bronchitus
Kow Bux: maybe it's just a cold
Kow Bux: one thing's for certain, it's not an std.
Ceara Lynch: yeah I dont doubt it
Kow Bux: unless you can get one from a fist or a piggytail buttplugg.
Ceara Lynch: you probably gave yourself a yeast infection
Kow Bux: i did eat a wheat roll yesterday. and some junky pumpkin cookies like a fucking retard.
Kow Bux: Well, i'll fuck off until i can get you paid, sexy
Ceara Lynch: good
Kow Bux:
Kow Bux: Yep. Yeast.
Ceara Lynch: yeah thought so
Kow Bux: Fever, body aches, no bonery goodness. Yeast.
Kow Bux: Maybe I got HIV from my dumpy fist, what do you think?
Kow Bux: choo choo
Kow Bux: Dear Miss Ceara, I would like to be so bold as to say that I have legs like you like:
Kow Bux: Feet on one end, loser on the other.
Ceara Lynch: that's funny, last time I checked those were exactly the type of legs I hate.
Kow Bux:
Kow Bux: Actually Miss Ceara I'm thinking that I might really be in my "pre-loser" stage.
Kow Bux: I think I've about worn my dumpy teats into a chafe.

Kow Bux: Man Held Hostage by HungryHungry Hipps!
Kow Bux: Suburban laundrymatt worker *ratemymoo told Action 12's reporter Lisa Malroy about his harrowing ordeal of being held hostage in his laundrymatt for 12 years by what he calls his "HungryHungry Hipps"
Ceara Lynch: I bet
Kow Bux: How much for the grundies, Ceara?
Ceara Lynch: whats a grundie?
Kow Bux: your sweetie *undies
Ceara Lynch: $100!
Kow Bux: ceara! a hundred? A c-note? The whole Zagnut??

Kow Bux: Hi Ceara. Any interest in a puckerfest?
Kow Bux: You bring the pucker, I'll bring the sucker.
Kow Bux: well the dumpty cold won't go away
Kow Bux: it's my wickedness, like chickens, come home to roost, ohmoo.

Kow Bux: O Ceara I'm almost better enough to beggie to *bleat for your feet!!!
Ceara Lynch: hahaha loser
Kow Bux: baaaaaaaaa
Kow Bux: and where can dummies order your undies Miss Ceara?
Kow Bux: i mean if i had the grundies...talk about *stooopud
Kow Bux: I know I'm feeling better when I get a-hankerin to buy garbage, ohmoo
Kow Bux: you turned the cam line on! I can call and be a bigg pussy then??
Ceara Lynch: sure thing loser. call My $10 perminute line. I dare you
Kow Bux: too scared like a pansyish noballs pussyface
Kow Bux: calling the other one
Ceara Lynch: dont expect much attention
Kow Bux: i've come to live my dumpy life like that
Kow Bux: ohmoo
Kow Bux: Thanks beautiful!
Kow Bux: choo choo!

Kow Bux: Hey sweetie sugartoes, how about poking your feet in my dorky face?
Ceara Lynch: lunch break?
Kow Bux: ran home with my oofie sprouting
Kow Bux: we can spell each other once in a--
Kow Bux: for like 15 or so
Kow Bux: you?
Kow Bux: night off for Ceara
Ceara Lynch: homework
Kow Bux: what subject?
Ceara Lynch: math
Kow Bux: what kind of math?
Ceara Lynch: genius math
Kow Bux: sexeeeeee
Kow Bux: like you would do any other kind.
Ceara Lynch: duh
Kow Bux: no sense
Kow Bux: well, genius math takes precedence over a loser's docker-boner, so I will call you later. you rock. thanks for being so sexy.
Kow Bux: i'll go make another twenty and come back and give it to you

Kow Bux: Wow, I must be getting better, my gooberstick is getting gobbly again already, ohmoo
Kow Bux: Why not sit on my dumpy nose while you do your genius math?
Ceara Lynch: yeah right
Kow Bux: sure deal. it's just the ticket to an *A.
Ceara Lynch: you mean your dump snout?
Kow Bux: indeed I do, my RumptySnaut( rhymes with saurkraut), ohmoo
Kow Bux: fuckit, just have a seat and make sure your pencils are sharpened
Ceara Lynch: will do
Kow Bux: Well, that's my cue. *fucks off*

Kow Bux: Hi Ceara. I want to sniff your goody two shoes.
Kow Bux: Hey Ceara, how about a little sugar over here?
Ceara Lynch: hey rumple-butt. call My ignore line
Kow Bux: a piggy on iggy.
Ceara Lynch: that's right
Kow Bux: Do iggy piggys get to sniff your goody-two-shoes on iggycam?
Ceara Lynch: cha right. they get iggy-IGNORED
Kow Bux: i will call and hope that i get to see your pretty shoesies at least then.
Ceara Lynch: do it
Kow Bux: doing it
Kow Bux: did it
Kow Bux: I've got to go back to the laundrymatt.
Ceara Lynch: haha loser
Ceara Lynch: go make more money for Me
Kow Bux: what am i going to do with my dumpy hose?
Kow Bux: i need to stuff it into new tightywhities and new dockers now.
Ceara Lynch: you mean your inch-worm?
Ceara Lynch: I dont think anyone will notice
Kow Bux: i am in total heart with you and will bone up soon.
Kow Bux: yes. i can pinch an inch.
Kow Bux: maybe i need the special k.

Kow Bux: Well, I think *Most Eligible Bachelor* is out...but what about *Most Eligible Puckerfaced Ass Clown*...?
Ceara Lynch: eligible for what?
Kow Bux: I take your point.
Kow Bux: Thanks for the lesson...
Ceara Lynch: hahahha
Kow Bux: ttysoon Ms Ceara. Love Ass Hat.

Kow Bux: Oh Miss Ceara I bet your butthole tastes like Halloweeeeeeen!!!!!!
Ceara Lynch: hahaha you fucking freak
Ceara Lynch: what are you dressing up as this year, dumpy?
Kow Bux: *somersaults and wishes that Miss Ceara would go all Ninjette on his dumptybagg*
Kow Bux: I thought I would go this year as a bigg, fatt baldheaded retard with hungry-hungry Hippo Hipps. What do you think?
Ceara Lynch: yeah, but dont you want to dress up too?
Kow Bux: hahaha ogod.
Kow Bux: yes. If I went naked I would get arrested.
Ceara Lynch: yeah no good
Kow Bux: But at least then I might have a chance to get laid.
Ceara Lynch: hahahaha
Kow Bux:
Ceara Lynch: no way, i bet even a rapist convict would reject you.
Kow Bux: Ceara! I know...Maybe I'll take a date-rape drug myself and run down to the twink bar before I pass out...
Kow Bux: When I wake up I'll get to see if I "got lucky."



Here's a picture of him sucking on a pigtail butt plug. He likes to go back and forth between his ass and mouth (a human ATM doing an ATM!) Unfortunately I dont get to laugh at him on cam too often because it means he has to put on his get-up AND hide in his closet from his roommates.

God I love this loser.

ps - klonk!

You have the best job ever.

For the few minutes of entertainment you got, you gave this guy a lifetime of jack-off memories (no, not sal 'god of maturbatory memories') FOR FREE. Never do that. In the sex industry, attention should always have a price. Physical or emotional, it's both attention to be SOLD. If you're bored or the novelty has faded, just read a book, play wii tennis...something. Your customers don't deserve shit for free.

For free? No, he paid for all the cam time, phone convos and time I spent watching him stick piggy pluggs up his ass. Almost all of those chat logs were from times when he was paying me, the ones where he wasn't I maybe said one or two things to him. So yeah, I give out small chat for free once in a while. But sometimes a loser needs that extra push to open his wallet.

Most porn sites give free teaser samples and/or pics.

Fuck, that post is a literary GOLDMINE of sub slang:

dumpstertrix

kicktard

oinkgasm

OINKGASM! This is a BRAND NEW WORD!!! Only one single hit on Google - that's awesome. I predict little piggy subs all over the world will soon be begging to be allowed their "oinkgasms". Remember folks, it started here