The URL doesn't appear to be working; slashdot effect maybe? But I think I know which one it is, and it was linked to on all the whoreboards already. And none of the sex addicts, er, I mean, hobbyists were all that worked up about it.

Look, who isn't bitter about their job occasionally? If you're truly happy about your work 100% of the time, more power to you, but you represent something like the 99th percentile of Americans. Writing is a form of catharsis. Better that she gets out the aggravation this way than take it out on her clients.

Burnout is inevitable when hooking is your primary vocation. It's much better to do it on a part-time basis, I think. If she's getting five clients a day, then she must be in demand, and then I have to wonder why she hasn't raised her rates. Higher rates = fewer clients = happier hooker.

I've compiled a "How to be a Nice John" list of rules:

(1) Bathe. Use soap and pay special attention to your asscrack, dick and balls, and underarms. Rinse n' repeat. Apply deodorant.

(2) Brush teeth, floss, use mouthwash. Shave.

(3) Do (1) and (2) as close as possible to the time of your appointment. Like an hour or so.

(4) Don't quibble over rates. It's your responsibility to determine what you can and can't afford. It's not a hooker's responsibility to adjust her fees on a sliding scale basis. She runs a business, not a charity.

(5) Don't push down on your whore's head when she's giving you a blowjob. Ears are not handlebars, thank you.

(6) Kissing: less tongue, less saliva, more lips.

(7) Don't stick a dry finger up a whore's asshole. That really hurts. Try it out on yourself and see how well you like it.

(8) Want to skullfuck, do us in Cirque du Soleil contortionist positions, fuck us in the ass like you're trying to kill us? Hire a porn star escort. A majority of women don't like that shit. It's unreasonable to expect what you see in porn. There's a lot that ends up on the cutting room floor that you never see, and maybe your whore doesn't want to take vicodin to endure the pain.

(9) If you want to know what turns her on, ASK. Pussies are like snowflakes. No two are alike. I find that too many men want sexual validation for fucking the way they want to fuck. That virtually guarantees an acting performance. Sadly, most men can't seem to tell the difference

(9) You know how, after you cum, there's that spot right below the helmet that's really, really sensitive? It's the same with the clit. Don't flick it like it's a light switch, and even if you're a champion pussy-eater, we can only take so much. And then we're done.

(10) Don't ask stupid questions like "So what happened in your childhood?" or "Does your boyfriend know what you do for a living" unless you're prepared to answer questions like "Have you considered laser hair removal?" or "How long have you been paying for sex?"