I was hiding out in a cottage I rent in the woodsy confines of southern Vermont the last couple days, catching up on reading and trying to get my fucking leg to right itself with fresh air and peace and quiet, when I get this text message from willie.... "Hey u dont mind if I do a 'quiz' about you for XPT?"... I briefly shuddered.....I didnt know what to expect, I thought maybe this would be about all my sordid XPT moments (as if there are any other kind here on XPT, but you know what I mean...)

I do take issue with the term "self-ballyhooed" in describing having Lunch with Holly. Just how, where and when did I "Ballyhoo"???? I thought she got just as much a kick out of it as I did, her curiosity about me equalled my lust and enthrallment. It was a mutual Ballyhoo...

Bonus/Boner/Bonum Question(s):




Da Burg would never be caught dead in a "BAT-chair"...however, for Halloween he has rigged up a few of his crippled sleds over the years to be a replica of which of the following:

A) Police Car


2) Nuclear Missle (that wound up looking like a giant pistoning albino peni)


Part iii) A WW II Sherman Tank (with me drunkenly screaming lines from "Patton"...Bonus-within-a-bonus question: True or False, Da burg won The Best Costume award that particular year, which he subsequently "refused" ... ...in reality he was passed out, having "crashed" into a vending machine in an effort to get the lassssst bag of Funyuns in one of those "I'm about to pass out but I need food in my stomach to soak up the remaining alcohol or else I will go into a coma"-type fits...)

Quatro) "The General Lee" supercar from the Dukes of Hazard (complete with a stripper I hired out of the Yellow Pages to dress like Daisy Duke and sit in my lap and use my dick as a stick shift)


Chapter 5) Some of the Above